Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
A Toxic relationship and Fake love looks real—until it destroys you.
Welcome to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, the podcast that exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, and emotional manipulation. Hosted by Nova Gibson, leading trauma-informed counsellor and Director of Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling, this podcast is your guide to breaking free from the confusion, fear, and self-doubt that come with being entangled with a narcissist.
In every episode, Nova draws from years of experience working with survivors to explore the complex, often covert tactics used in emotionally abusive relationships—from gaslighting, triangulation, and the silent treatment to smear campaigns and intermittent reinforcement.
Whether you're struggling with a narcissistic partner, parent, boss, or friend, Fake Love and Flying Monkeys gives you the tools and knowledge to understand the abuse, trust your instincts, and reclaim your power—even if the narcissist has never been formally diagnosed.
This is more than a podcast—it’s a lifeline.
You’ll get:
Clear explanations of narcissistic behaviour patterns
Practical strategies for setting boundaries and detaching
Real talk about the emotional rollercoaster of trauma bonding
Validation, clarity, and a path toward healing from narcissistic abuse
If you've ever felt trapped in a relationship that chips away at your self-worth, this podcast will help you name it, face it, and finally break free.
You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. You’re in the fog of narcissistic abuse—and Nova is here to help guide you out.
Visit https://www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au/
for more support and resources.
It’s time to expose the fake love, silence the flying monkeys, and rewrite your story.
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
Trauma Bonding: Why Victims Stay with Narcissists
Why don't victims of abuse just leave? Victims often struggle to break free from abusive relationships. In this eye-opening episode we answer this critical question. We explore the complex dynamics of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence in the context of trauma bonding, and NOT Co-dependency. Join me as I dive deep into the concept of trauma bonding to understand why .
We unpack...
- What is trauma bonding?
- Explore the psychological mechanism behind trauma bonding and how it ties victims to their abusers emotionally.
- How does a trauma bond form and how does it override the victim's logical knowledge of the abuse?
- Detail the process by which repeated cycles of abuse and intermittent reinforcement create powerful emotional bonds that defy rationality.
- Can anyone become trauma bonded?
- Discuss the vulnerability factors that make individuals susceptible to trauma bonding, regardless of their background or personality.
- Is it difficult to break a trauma bond?
- Highlight the challenges victims face when trying to break free from a trauma bond and reclaim their autonomy.
- How do statements/questions like 'Why don't you just leave?' impact the victim’s capacity to actually leave?
- Analyze the detrimental effects of victim-blaming questions on a victim's self-esteem, sense of agency, and ability to seek help.
- How do we support victims to leave/stay away for good?
- Offer practical strategies and emotional support mechanisms for empowering victims to make safe choices and rebuild their lives.
- How do you break a trauma bond?
- Provide actionable steps and psychological insights into breaking free from trauma bonds, emphasizing long-term healing and recovery.
By addressing these questions in-depth, we aim to shed light on the complex dynamics of trauma bonding and provide valuable insights for both victims and supporters in the journey toward healing and liberation from abusive relationships.
🎧 Tune in now and learn how to stop the manipulation before it controls you! Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this ep
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Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.
Nova xx
Trauma Bonding – Understanding Why Victims Stay With Narcissists
In this podcast, we delve into the complex dynamics of trauma bonding, shedding light on why victims of narcissistic abuse often find it incredibly challenging to break free from their abusers.
Understanding Trauma Bonding: Trauma bonding is a profound psychological and emotional attachment that develops through cycles of abuse and intermittent acts of kindness from the abuser. Victims become deeply entrenched in a biochemical and psychological dependency, addicted to the alternating highs of love bombing and the devastating lows of manipulation and mistreatment.
The Misunderstandings Among Outsiders: Many well-meaning outsiders fail to grasp the intricate nature of trauma bonding, often questioning why victims don't simply leave their abusers. Comments like “Why didn’t you just walk away?” or “There must be something wrong with you” inadvertently overlook the powerful psychological grip that abusers maintain over their victims. This lack of understanding can inadvertently reinforce the abuser’s control and make it even harder for victims to seek help and break free.
The Biochemical Impact: During the initial stages of the relationship and during phases of love bombing, victims experience a surge of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and oxytocin, which create feelings of euphoria and attachment. These biochemical reactions play a significant role in forming and reinforcing the bond with the abuser. However, as the cycle of abuse continues and the abuser alternates between affection and cruelty, victims experience emotional crashes akin to withdrawal symptoms, desperately craving the positive reinforcement and connection that the abuser initially provided.
Psychological Manipulation Tactics: Narcissists employ a range of insidious tactics to maintain control over their victims. Gaslighting, where the abuser manipulates the victim’s perception of reality and self-worth, is a common strategy. By distorting facts, denying events, and questioning the victim’s memory or sanity, the abuser undermines the victim’s confidence and fosters a profound sense of dependency and confusion. Additionally, tactics like isolation from friends and family further reinforce the victim’s reliance on the abuser for emotional validation and support.
The Cycle of Return: Despite the emotional and psychological turmoil inflicted by the abuser, victims often find themselves drawn back into the relationship. This phenomenon is not simply due to a lack of willpower or strength but is deeply rooted in the complex dynamics of trauma bonding. The abuser, who alternates between causing emotional wounds and providing temporary relief from pain, becomes a source of both turmoil and comfort for the victim. This cycle of abuse and intermittent kindness perpetuates a powerful and addictive bond that is incredibly challenging to break.
Conclusion: Understanding trauma bonding is essential in comprehending the profound challenges faced by victims of narcissistic abuse in leaving harmful relationships. By educating ourselves and others about the complexities of trauma bonding, we can combat victim blaming and provide more effective support and resources to those who are courageously seeking to break free from abusive relationships.
For further insights and expert guidance on navigating trauma bonding and narcissistic abuse, please contact Nova for confidential support and assistance.