Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
A Toxic relationship and Fake love looks real—until it destroys you.
Welcome to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, the podcast that exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, and emotional manipulation. Hosted by Nova Gibson, leading trauma-informed counsellor and Director of Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling, this podcast is your guide to breaking free from the confusion, fear, and self-doubt that come with being entangled with a narcissist.
In every episode, Nova draws from years of experience working with survivors to explore the complex, often covert tactics used in emotionally abusive relationships—from gaslighting, triangulation, and the silent treatment to smear campaigns and intermittent reinforcement.
Whether you're struggling with a narcissistic partner, parent, boss, or friend, Fake Love and Flying Monkeys gives you the tools and knowledge to understand the abuse, trust your instincts, and reclaim your power—even if the narcissist has never been formally diagnosed.
This is more than a podcast—it’s a lifeline.
You’ll get:
Clear explanations of narcissistic behaviour patterns
Practical strategies for setting boundaries and detaching
Real talk about the emotional rollercoaster of trauma bonding
Validation, clarity, and a path toward healing from narcissistic abuse
If you've ever felt trapped in a relationship that chips away at your self-worth, this podcast will help you name it, face it, and finally break free.
You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. You’re in the fog of narcissistic abuse—and Nova is here to help guide you out.
Visit https://www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au/
for more support and resources.
It’s time to expose the fake love, silence the flying monkeys, and rewrite your story.
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
Is gaslighting abuse? - An examination of the narcissist's no.1 weapon to make you feel crazy.
Gaslighting is used by the narcissist to confuse you and make you feel crazy. The cunning abusive strategy that narcissists use to manipulate their victim's reality and control their perceptions by eroding their self-confidence and fostering dependency. In this episode, discover effective strategies to recognize and resist gaslighting tactics, reclaiming your truth and empowerment.
In this episode we look at:
1. Textbook gaslighting lines and phrases
2. How Gaslighting makes the victim not trust their instincts
3. What Gaslighting actually means
4. How gaslighting is used out of context and the true damage that gaslighting does to the victim
and much more.
🎧 Tune in now and learn how to stop the manipulation before it controls you! Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with anyone dealing with narcissistic abuse. Your healing starts with knowledge—and I’m here to guide you every step of the way.
You can leave a rating and a review here
Nova xx
Need Support? You can book a Telehealth Online zoom counseling appointment with me or book me to speak at your event through my website Brighter Outlook Counselling Service or email me at nova.pollard123@gmail.com
You can purchase a copy of my book ‘Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from narcissistic Abuse here
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Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.
Nova xx
Hi, everyone, and welcome to another episode of *Fake Love and Flying Monkeys*. Today, we're diving deep into gaslighting and other manipulative strategies narcissists use when devaluing their victims. When a narcissist knows you're hooked and you believe in their facade of kindness and compassion, they begin to devalue you to make you feel inferior in every way.
All those traits they initially admired and praised will now become sources of contempt. These qualities that make you special are precisely what they feel threatened by, leading them to systematically destroy anything that makes you feel good about yourself, including your happiness. This shift is incredibly confusing for victims who thought they were loved and valued, only to find their special traits ridiculed and demeaned.
Devaluing is about breaking down your identity and creating a new one that serves the narcissist's needs. They aim to strip away your confidence, pride, and self-love, making you dependent on them for your self-worth, thereby boosting their ego and sense of power. They want to ensure you never leave and continue to make them feel revered and powerful.
One of the most insidious strategies they use is gaslighting. Unfortunately, this term has become a bit of a buzzword, often misunderstood. True gaslighting involves a manipulative distortion of reality that erodes the victim's ability to trust themselves and their perceptions. For example, if you catch a narcissist messaging someone inappropriately and confront them, they'll deflect by accusing you of being insecure and distrustful, flipping the script to make you question your justified feelings.
Gaslighting starts subtly, with the narcissist questioning minor details to make you doubt your memory and perceptions. Over time, this escalates, leading you to mistrust your instincts completely. The confusion and self-doubt they cultivate ensure you hand over your reality to them. This gradual erosion of your trust in yourself makes it difficult to see the abuse for what it is.
The damage of gaslighting is cumulative. By repeatedly questioning your reality, the narcissist makes you feel crazy, driving you to defend yourself against the indefensible. They may insist the sky is purple, knowing it's blue, just to make you go to extreme lengths to prove otherwise. This ongoing strategy conditions you to doubt yourself and rely on them for validation.
Gaslighting also involves outright lies, shifting the blame, and manipulating your emotions. They might move your belongings and then 'find' them for you, making you question your memory. Or they'll use phrases like "everyone agrees with me" to isolate you and make you feel unsupported.
In essence, gaslighting is a tool for the narcissist to maintain control and keep you in a state of confusion. This strategy, along with others like triangulation and sabotage, ensures you remain dependent on them and easy to manipulate.
Stay tuned for future episodes where we'll delve deeper into these strategies and how to recognize and combat them. Remember, understanding these tactics is the first step towards healing and regaining control of your life.