
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
A Toxic relationship and Fake love looks real—until it destroys you.
Welcome to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, the podcast that exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, and emotional manipulation. Hosted by Nova Gibson, leading trauma-informed counsellor and Director of Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling, this podcast is your guide to breaking free from the confusion, fear, and self-doubt that come with being entangled with a narcissist.
In every episode, Nova draws from years of experience working with survivors to explore the complex, often covert tactics used in emotionally abusive relationships—from gaslighting, triangulation, and the silent treatment to smear campaigns and intermittent reinforcement.
Whether you're struggling with a narcissistic partner, parent, boss, or friend, Fake Love and Flying Monkeys gives you the tools and knowledge to understand the abuse, trust your instincts, and reclaim your power—even if the narcissist has never been formally diagnosed.
This is more than a podcast—it’s a lifeline.
You’ll get:
Clear explanations of narcissistic behaviour patterns
Practical strategies for setting boundaries and detaching
Real talk about the emotional rollercoaster of trauma bonding
Validation, clarity, and a path toward healing from narcissistic abuse
If you've ever felt trapped in a relationship that chips away at your self-worth, this podcast will help you name it, face it, and finally break free.
You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. You’re in the fog of narcissistic abuse—and Nova is here to help guide you out.
Visit https://www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au/
for more support and resources.
It’s time to expose the fake love, silence the flying monkeys, and rewrite your story.
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
Surviving workplace narcissists and psychopaths - with David Gillespie, Australian Lawyer and best selling Author
A narcissistic boss or colleague, workplace bullying and covert measures of abuse make your life hell when you have to see them every day!
What do you when this is your job, you can't leave, and you spend more time with these people than you do with your family?
In this fascinating episode I talk with David Gillespie, the Author of 'Toxic at Work - Surviving Your Psychopathic Workmates from the Dominant Boss to the Charming Manipulators', to answer this question.
If Fake Love has helped you, using this Apple Podcasts link is a simple way to support the show! 🙏
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here
Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here
You can leave a Rating and a Review here
You Can Share this Podcast here
Join me on FB here
Join the private FB group here
Join me on Instagram here
Join me on YouTube here
Want to support the channel? Please Buy me a coffee ❤️
Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.
Nova xx
Nova: Today, I have the privilege of speaking with David Gillespie, and we’re diving into the complex and often emotionally charged topic of narcissistic abuse. David, thank you for joining me.
David Gillespie: It’s my pleasure, Nova. I’m glad we can shed some light on this subject, especially considering how damaging it can be to those who experience it.
Nova: Absolutely. I think a good starting point is with the smear campaign, which is one of the most devastating tactics a narcissist can use. It really wreaks havoc on a victim’s life. How would you describe a smear campaign?
David Gillespie: A smear campaign is essentially an orchestrated effort by the narcissist to ruin someone’s reputation. They’ll spread lies, half-truths, and even outright fabrications to friends, family, colleagues—really anyone who will listen. The goal is to isolate and discredit their target, making it hard for the victim to gain support or even defend themselves.
Nova: That sounds absolutely horrifying. It must feel like you're fighting a battle on all fronts with little support. Why do narcissists resort to this?
David Gillespie: Narcissists thrive on control. When they sense that they’re losing their grip on someone—whether it’s a romantic partner, friend, or colleague—they launch a smear campaign as a way to regain that control. It’s a form of punishment for trying to break free from their influence. It also distracts others from recognizing the narcissist’s true nature.
Nova: That’s a scary realization. What’s even scarier, I think, is how convincing they can be. They seem to have a way of pulling people onto their side. How do they manage that?
David Gillespie: Narcissists are incredibly charismatic. They can be charming, even seemingly compassionate when it suits them. They manipulate emotions and create narratives that paint them as the victim. So when they begin spreading misinformation, they’ve already laid the groundwork for people to believe them. It’s a calculated and deliberate effort.
Nova: It’s so destructive. I imagine it leaves the real victim feeling completely isolated and unsupported. What advice do you give to someone going through this?
David Gillespie: First, it’s crucial to recognize that you don’t have to engage. The narcissist wants you to react—that’s how they maintain control. By not giving them the reaction they seek, you start to regain some of your power. Focus on your support system—those who truly know you. It’s tough, but staying calm and keeping your distance can go a long way.
Nova: That’s such an important point, and it brings me to the next question. How do you manage the emotional toll of being on the receiving end of a smear campaign?
David Gillespie: It’s incredibly difficult. The emotional toll is immense because these campaigns hit at the core of who you are. The best thing you can do is work on grounding yourself in the truth of who you are. Surround yourself with supportive people who validate your reality. Therapy can be a great tool for processing the trauma of a smear campaign, and finding ways to protect your peace is crucial.
Nova: I think there’s a misconception that you have to “win” in a smear campaign. But, in reality, isn’t the goal more about protecting yourself rather than fighting back?
David Gillespie: Exactly. The idea of winning or proving yourself to others plays into the narcissist’s game. The real victory comes when you can detach emotionally and protect your well-being. Your peace is more important than trying to correct every lie or distortion. It’s about reclaiming your life and not letting their toxic influence dictate how you live.
Nova: That’s empowering to hear. You can reclaim your life, even in the midst of such a personal attack. What should people focus on during this process?
David Gillespie: Focus on healing and rebuilding. Understand that you don’t need everyone to believe your side of the story—you only need a few key people who know the truth. Narcissists thrive on drama, so if you refuse to engage in it, they’ll eventually seek it elsewhere. Healing might involve setting new boundaries, finding new coping strategies, or even rebuilding parts of your life from scratch, but it’s all worth it for your well-being.
Nova: It’s such an important reminder that your well-being is the top priority. As we close this conversation, is there any final advice you’d like to share with our listeners who may be struggling with this right now?
David Gillespie: Remember that this isn’t a reflection of who you are—it’s a reflection of the narcissist’s need for control. You can rise above this by focusing on your truth, maintaining your integrity, and seeking out those who will support you no matter what. You’re stronger than you think, and you deserve to live free from the toxic influence of someone else’s manipulations.
Nova: Thank you so much, David. This conversation has been eye-opening and filled with hope for those who might feel trapped in these situations.
David Gillespie: Thank you for having me, Nova. I’m glad to be able to contribute to this important discussion.