.jpg)
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
Narcissism, or narcissistic personality disorder, causes the narcissist to engage in what is known as narcissistic abuse. This type of abuse encompasses emotional abuse, verbal abuse, coercive control and psychological abuse, which are covert forms of domestic violence that make the victim feel crazy. It impacts the mental health of every victim. It can also involve physical abuse. If you have a narcissist in your life then you also have their flying monkeys!
In this podcast, leading expert and specialist trauma informed counselor Nova Gibson, offers concise, empowering advice on navigating, escaping, and healing from the narcissist, and their flying monkey's insidious forms of domestic abuse. Nova’s expertise in identifying behaviours of narcissistic abusers, such as coercive control, gaslighting, and trauma bonding, is invaluable for those in toxic relationships.
Whether the covert narcissist, or overt narcissist is an intimate partner engaging in intimate partner violence, a friend, parent, or colleague, the life-changing insights from Nova and her guests will support your healing journey back to self care and self love, and to address the inevitable ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder).
Nova is director, founder and principle counselor at Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service. She is also the best-selling author of the globally acclaimed 'Fake Love - Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse'. HarperCollins.
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
Understanding Betrayal Trauma in Narcissistic Abuse
Understanding Betrayal Trauma in Narcissistic Abuse.https://www.amazon.com.au/Fake-Love-Understanding-Healing-Narcissistic
In this insightful episode, we dive deep into the concept of betrayal trauma within the context of narcissistic abuse. We unpack the emotional toll this hidden form of trauma takes on survivors.
Betrayal trauma can be excruciating for those involved in abusive relationships with narcissists, leaving them struggling to rebuild trust. In this episode we look at the narcissist's strategies that ensure their betrayals inflict maximum pain to their victim.
For Zoom counselling support in your narcissistic abuse recovery available worldwide, please visit my website below.
Nova 🌻
www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au
If you found this episode informative, I would absolutely love it if you could rate this podcast, leave a review, and please share, Share, SHARE! Help to spread awareness around Narcissistic Abuse, so there's more support and justice for survivors!
Nova xx
You can book an online counseling appointment with me or book me to speak at your event here
You can purchase a copy of my book ‘Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from narcissistic Abuse’ here
Join me on Facebook here
Join the private Facebook discussion group here
Join me on Instagram here
https://buymeacoffee.com/novagibson
Thankyou so much for listening!
Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse.
If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me , please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service , or email me at nova.pollard123gmail.com
To order a copy of my book - Fake love please click Here
or simply go directly to Amazon
I looove creating these episodes, but they do take time. If you'd like to support me to continue creating more podcast episodes, then please click here to .Buy me a coffee
Understanding Betrayal Trauma in Narcissistic Relationships
In this episode, I’m going to be talking about betrayal—specifically, the betrayal trauma that victims experience at so many stages in a relationship with a narcissist. When you have been duped, conned, lied to, or cheated on, the betrayal is soul-destroying. It eats you up. It’s a soul-level type of pain that only a victim who has been betrayed by someone they trusted and loved deeply can fully understand.
The Excruciating Pain of Betrayal
When someone cheats on you or lies to you, that’s supposed to hurt, right? However, the difference between a one-time mistake and the betrayal inflicted by a narcissist is the powerful trauma bond that’s been created. This person made you believe you were the most important person in their world, making the betrayal all the more excruciating. You feel like your entire world will implode if this relationship ends.
Narcissistic Deception and Manipulation
Betrayal is painful in any relationship, but with a narcissist, it’s uniquely devastating. Remember when the narcissist played the victim at the start? They might have claimed to have been cheated on or wronged by an ex, reinforcing their supposed moral superiority. They constantly remind you how much integrity they have and how much they despise cheaters and liars. This manipulation sets the stage for you to trust them blindly.
The Setup: Creating a False Moral High Ground
Narcissists often portray themselves as moral and ethical, reinforcing this belief in you repeatedly. You start to believe their lies because they present themselves as a beacon of integrity. You could never imagine this person betraying you. It doesn’t even cross your mind because of how they set you up to think they are incapable of such behavior. This narcissistic setup makes the eventual betrayal even more traumatic.
The Soul-Crushing Reality of Betrayal Trauma
When the betrayal happens, it feels as though the ground beneath you crumbles. Betrayal trauma can take months, even years, to heal. Realizing that the person you trusted implicitly could be capable of such deceit is devastating. You might override the red flags because it doesn’t make sense to you that someone so moral could be guilty of betrayal.
The Narcissist's Shift: From Love-Bombing to Devaluation
Another factor that deepens the trauma is the narcissist’s shift from love-bombing to devaluation. You start to notice the changes in their behavior—how they become irritated with you, treat you poorly, and dismiss your feelings. Over time, you’ve lowered your boundaries, prioritizing their needs and desires above your own. You’ve gone without so much, yet they still betray you.
The Narcissist's Gaslighting and Justifications
When confronted, the narcissist will often gaslight you, making it seem like your sacrifices were for your own benefit. They’ll tell you that the things you did for them had strings attached, further distorting your reality. But the truth is, you’ve given up so much for this person who has now turned their back on you.
The Ultimate Betrayal: Loving Someone Who Doesn't Exist
Perhaps the most gut-wrenching part of this betrayal is realizing that the person you loved never really existed. Narcissists are master manipulators, creating false personas to lure you in. When the truth is revealed, you come to terms with the fact that you fell in love with a fabrication. This profound betrayal, where everything you thought was real is shown to be a lie, leaves you questioning your entire reality.
The Impact of Narcissistic Betrayal on Trust
The betrayal trauma inflicted by a narcissist goes beyond normal betrayal—it shatters your ability to trust. The person you loved and believed in has broken that trust completely. It’s akin to a child being abused by a parent—the very person who was supposed to nurture and protect them. If this person can betray you, who in the world can you ever trust again?
Post-Relationship Betrayal Trauma: The Lightbulb Moment
Betrayal trauma doesn’t end when the relationship does. In fact, it can intensify when you finally escape or are discarded by the narcissist. The lightbulb moment, when you realize that the entire relationship was based on lies, can be soul-crushing. You gave so much of your life to someone who was pretending the whole time. The discovery that the narcissist was nothing more than a con artist leaves victims feeling devastated.
Healing from Betrayal Trauma: Rebuilding Trust and Self-Worth
This level of betrayal trauma is indescribable. It’s next-level pain that requires extensive support and care to heal from. Don’t let others tell you that you should be over it by now or that you’re better off without them. Healing from this kind of betrayal takes time and support from professionals who understand narcissistic abuse.
Reaching Out for Support
Please reach out and get support. Make sure to find a trauma-informed narcissistic abuse therapist like myself. Remember, this wasn’t your fault. The abuse is never the victim’s fault, but the healing is on you. You’ll need lots of support to recover from the soul-destroying betrayals inflicted by someone who claimed to love you more than anyone else in the world.