Why do narcissists block then unblock you?

https://www.amazon.com.au/Fake-Love-Understanding-Healing-Narcissistic
Narcissists block and unblock you as a manipulative way to feed off your emotions. In this episode, "Why does the narcissist block then unblock you?", we dive deep into why narcissists use this strategy, examining the cruel psychological games they play to keep you hooked in cycles of confusion, hope, and desperation. You'll learn how the narcissist uses blocking as a form of punishment while unblocking you re-establishes their control over you. We also take a deep dive into how to avoid their games in the first place

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Transcript

The Narcissist Blocks You then Unblocks You - What is their motivation?

Today’s episode is going to cover one of the most frustrating and confusing tactics a narcissist employs – the constant blocking and unblocking on social media, texting, or other communication platforms. If you’ve ever been in a relationship or situation with a narcissist, you’ll know how disorienting it is to be blocked without warning, only to be unblocked later, as if nothing ever happened.

This episode will help you understand why narcissists do this, what it means for you, and how to manage the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it.

The Narcissist’s Need for Control

At the core of the narcissist’s behavior is their need for control. Blocking and unblocking you is one of their ways of exercising that control. When they block you, they are essentially taking away your ability to communicate with them. It’s an attempt to leave you powerless and in a state of confusion. Narcissists thrive on this confusion because it keeps you emotionally hooked. You start to question what you did wrong, how to fix it, or what you could do to regain their favor.

When they unblock you, they give back that connection, but it’s not because they suddenly care. It’s another way to pull you back into the cycle. By unblocking you, they regain control over the narrative, making it seem like they’re willing to forgive or forget, even though they were the ones who caused the disruption in the first place.

The Power of Silent Treatment

The act of blocking is often a form of the silent treatment, one of the narcissist’s most effective weapons. By cutting off all communication, they punish you for something—usually something trivial or even non-existent. This act is intended to make you feel desperate, anxious, and increasingly reliant on their approval.

The silent treatment is meant to leave you questioning yourself. Did you say something wrong? Did you do something that upset them? The truth is, narcissists use this tactic as a form of emotional abuse. They get a sense of superiority and power from watching you scramble for answers. It puts you in a position where you’re the one trying to restore peace, even though you haven’t done anything wrong.

When they unblock you, it’s their way of signaling that they’re back in control. They’ll often act like nothing ever happened, leaving you confused about whether it was even worth confronting them.

Why Do Narcissists Block You?

There are several reasons why a narcissist may choose to block you, and understanding these reasons can give you insight into their toxic behavior. First, narcissists block you when they feel a loss of control. If you’ve stood up to them, questioned them,

Why Does the Narcissist Block and Unblock You?

In today's episode, we dive deep into the mind games of narcissists and explore why they block and unblock their victims. It’s a manipulative cycle designed to maintain control and keep you emotionally hooked, a tactic used to exploit your vulnerability and deepen the trauma bond. Let's break down this damaging behavior using the story of Sophie from "Fake Love: Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse."

Sophie’s Story: A Manipulative Cycle

Sophie, the main character in my book, was discarded by her narcissistic husband, Justin, in the most brutal way. He left her for another woman—one he’d denied cheating with, but quickly moved in with. After the discard, Sophie found herself in a whirlwind of emotions: fear, sadness, anger, and deep confusion. She hadn’t done anything wrong, yet she was made to feel guilty, and Justin’s actions were designed to provoke that response.

He blocked her on social media, which sent Sophie spiraling further. She checked his accounts obsessively, wanting to know if he was thinking of her, feeling the overwhelming fear that she’d lost him for good. This rollercoaster of emotions made her desperate for any sign of connection. When Justin eventually unblocked her, she felt a sense of relief, hoping this might be her chance to reconnect, even blaming herself for the breakdown of their relationship. But it was all part of his manipulation.

Blocking and Unblocking: A Narcissist’s Weapon

This tactic of blocking and unblocking is a classic form of narcissistic abuse. By blocking Sophie, Justin intensified her fear of abandonment. And then, by unblocking her later, he triggered a flood of hope, causing her to question herself and her worth. This cycle allowed Justin to maintain control while avoiding responsibility for his actions.

It’s important to understand that blocking and unblocking is not just a coincidence—it’s a deliberate manipulation tactic. When a narcissist blocks you, it’s a punishment, a way to make you feel powerless and insignificant. When they unblock you, it’s not because they’ve had a change of heart. Instead, it’s because they want to pull you back into their toxic web.

The Psychological Impact of Being Blocked

Sophie's frantic behavior—constantly checking if she was still blocked—is a common response to this emotional game. The psychological impact is profound, as victims are often left feeling rejected, confused, and desperate for answers. This behavior stems from the trauma bond, a biochemical and psychological phenomenon that creates an unhealthy attachment to the abuser. Victims, like Sophie, may feel addicted to the highs and lows of the relationship, mistaking the emotional rollercoaster for love.

The relief you feel when the narcissist unblocks you is fleeting. It’s like a drug addict getting that next hit—momentary relief that’s quickly replaced with more uncertainty and pain. Narcissists know how to exploit this vulnerability. By controlling when and how you can access them, they ensure you stay emotionally dependent on them.

Why You Keep Checking Their Social Media

Many victims, like Sophie, obsessively check the narcissist’s social media after being blocked. This behavior is fueled by fear—fear that they’ve lost the narcissist for good, fear that they’ve done something wrong, and fear that the narcissist has moved on. But checking their social media only feeds into the manipulation.

If they’ve blocked you, it’s easy to spiral into thoughts of "What if they never unblock me?" When they finally do, the temporary relief you feel doesn’t solve anything. It’s just a tactic to keep you coming back for more. This is why it’s so important to stop checking their social media. The narcissist wants you to chase them, to feel that constant unease. When you engage in this behavior, you’re giving them exactly what they want.

Blocking as a Tool for Self-Care

On the flip side, when you choose to block the narcissist, it’s an act of self-care. Unlike the narcissist’s use of blocking as punishment, you’re doing it to heal and protect yourself. It’s a crucial step in breaking free from their control. Narcissists use blocking to hurt you; you use it to reclaim your peace of mind.

If you’re still in a relationship with a narcissist and they’ve started blocking you on social media or giving you the silent treatment, this is a huge red flag. It’s not just a sign of immaturity—it’s abusive behavior meant to keep you on edge. If this happens to you, take it as a sign to leave the relationship. There’s no good reason for someone to block their partner other than to manipulate or hurt them.

Healing from the Cycle

The most important thing to remember is that this blocking and unblocking cycle is a game to the narcissist. They know exactly what they’re doing, and they take pleasure in toying with your emotions. But you have the power to break free.

To heal, you need to stop engaging with their manipulations. Don’t check their social media. Don’t wait for them to unblock you. Instead, block them, both online and emotionally, and focus on your own recovery. Healing is about taking back control of your life and refusing to let the narcissist dictate your emotions.

Final Thoughts: Take Back Your Power

Blocking and unblocking is just another tool in the narcissist’s arsenal of emotional abuse. They thrive on keeping you in a state of confusion, always questioning yourself and your worth. But you don’t have to play their game. Recognize the manipulation for what it is, and take proactive steps toward healing.