Beating Narcissists in Court- The Golden Rules! with Courtney Barton

Beating  Narcissists in Court- The Golden Rules!- with my daughter, Courtney Barton.

If you're facing a narcissist in your life, whether it's during a breakup, divorce, custody battle, or even in a work-related dispute, one thing is clear—you need a lawyer. Narcissists are experts at manipulation, twisting the truth, and using the legal system as a weapon to control or punish you. In this episode, Courtne  explains why getting legal support is not just a good idea but a necessary step to protect you.

You’ll learn practical tips for finding the right attorney, what to expect during the process, and how having legal representation can help you stay one step ahead of a narcissist’s tactics. Whether you're at the beginning of your legal journey or deep in the trenches, this episode is packed with insight to empower you to take back control.

Tune in and arm yourself with the knowledge and tools to protect your rights and your peace of mind!

Courtney's website:-
https://bartonfamilylaw.com.au/

For Zoom counselling support in your narcissistic abuse recovery available worldwide, please visit my website below. 
 Nova 🌻
 www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au 
 
 If you found this episode informative, I would absolutely love it if you could rate this podcast, leave a review, and please share, Share, SHARE!  Help to spread awareness around Narcissistic Abuse, so there's more support and justice for survivors!
  Nova xx

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Thankyou so much for listening!
Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse.

If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me , please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service , or email me at nova.pollard123gmail.com

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Transcript

Today I’m genuinely excited. I have someone very special with me — my daughter, Courtney Barton.
Courtney’s not only a brilliant lawyer, but she’s also the director of Barton Family Lawyers right here in Brisbane. After a lot of study, she’s become a family law specialist, particularly for victims of coercive control, domestic violence, and narcissistic abuse. Her expertise in navigating the family court system is invaluable for anyone dealing with these situations. So, Courtney, welcome to the show! Thank you for finally letting me pin you down for this chat.
Courtney: Hi Mum! Thanks for having me. I’m so glad to finally be here.
Nova: It's so great to have you. I think some of our listeners might already know that you’re my daughter, but I wanted to bring you on today to share your knowledge and experience with survivors of narcissistic abuse. From my side as a counsellor, I often work with clients at their most vulnerable — scared to take the first step towards legal help, worried about facing their abuser in court.
Can you tell us a bit about what you do and how you support people in these situations?
Courtney: Sure! As a family lawyer and director of Barton Family Lawyers, our firm helps victims of domestic violence, coercive control, and narcissistic abuse reclaim their power. We do everything from assisting with financial matters, dividing assets, and setting up formal parenting arrangements to finalising divorces. We’re all about practical solutions to help our clients move forward, achieve the best outcomes for themselves, and start rebuilding their lives.
Nova: That’s amazing. I always tell my clients that, no matter how low they feel, they must seek legal advice. Their abuser has likely been planning things well in advance before the separation. So, when do you think someone should engage a lawyer, especially if they suspect their partner is abusive?
Courtney: The earlier, the better. Getting legal advice doesn’t mean you have to act immediately, but it gives you crucial information so you can make informed decisions. It’s particularly important when preparing for both pre- and post-separation. For example, we talk about things like:

• What to take if you leave the house
• Whether to stay or go
• Setting boundaries for safety and support
• Applying for child support and safeguarding financial accounts
  Having that knowledge early on can make a huge difference and can reduce the emotional and financial toll of separation. Sadly, only a small percentage of clients come to me pre-separation, but those are the ones I can really help the most.
  Nova: That’s such great advice. But what about the clients who are so traumatised they just want everything to be over? Many of my clients feel paralysed by fear — they’ve been financially abused, they don’t know what their asset pool looks like, and they’re convinced their abuser will manipulate the court against them. How do you help them push through?
  Courtney: It’s a challenging situation, but it’s actually pretty common. First, I always encourage my clients to get emotional support, whether through a counsellor like you or another service. Building resilience is key because things often get harder before they improve.
  I also make sure to educate clients on their rights and remind them that their abuser’s words are not the law. Having a lawyer in your corner means you won’t be isolated or manipulated into making bad decisions.
  For clients who are afraid of going to court, it’s important for them to know that mental health issues, like anxiety, PTSD, or depression, won’t automatically be used against them. The court is more focused on whether a parent can meet their children’s needs, not on whether they have a diagnosis.
  Nova: That’s so reassuring. But I know many survivors also worry about their counselling records being subpoenaed. What’s your view on that?
  Courtney: It’s a valid concern, but there are safeguards in place. Sometimes counselling records can be relevant, especially if someone’s mental health capacity is in question, but there are ways to protect sensitive information.
  For example, the court can order that only the lawyers, not the parties, access the records. This minimises the risk of the abuser weaponising that information while still allowing the court to assess what’s relevant.
  Nova: That’s such a relief. Many of my clients also struggle with co-parenting, especially when their abuser uses the children as a weapon to extend the abuse. What can be done in these situations?
  Courtney: Co-parenting with a narcissist is incredibly difficult, especially when they continually undermine boundaries. That’s where having a skilled lawyer can make all the difference.
  We can negotiate arrangements like supervised handovers at a contact centre or limit communication to written forms, such as email. If a client’s mental health is affected, we can use evidence from their psychologist to support these boundaries.
  The key is ensuring that the court understands how these measures protect the children’s best interests. With about 95% of cases settling before trial, having strong advocacy from the start is crucial.
  Nova: Thank you, Courtney. This has been such an enlightening conversation. I’m sure our listeners feel more empowered knowing there are ways to navigate the legal system safely and effectively. Any final advice for survivors of narcissistic abuse?
  Courtney: My advice is to seek support early — both legal and emotional. Knowledge is power, and having a solid team around you makes the journey a lot less daunting. Remember, you’re not alone.

Nova: Courtney, let’s dive into subpoenas. What are they, and how are they used?
Courtney: A subpoena is directed to someone who isn’t part of the proceedings. For example, it could be sent to the police, a doctor, or even your ex’s accountant. If someone refuses to provide documents, we can seek an order for compliance, and if that still doesn’t work, we can require them to come to court and provide those documents. There’s always a way to deal with non-compliance.
Nova: That’s helpful to know. What happens if someone doesn’t comply with the disclosure requirements?
Courtney: The rule of disclosure requires both parties to fully disclose their financial situation — assets, liabilities, superannuation, and more. If someone doesn’t comply, it can lead to contempt of court. And at trial, if the asset pool is found to be different from what was initially claimed, the court can make negative inferences against that party.
Nova: So, the court essentially punishes them for not being truthful?
Courtney: It’s not exactly punishment, but it ensures fairness. If someone hasn’t disclosed their assets correctly, the court will adjust things to balance it out.
Nova: Let’s talk about financial abuse because it often goes hand-in-hand with narcissistic abuse. I hear from victims who say they have no access to money, while their abuser is hiring expensive lawyers. What do you say to someone who doesn’t even know what their asset pool is, let alone how to pay for a lawyer?
Courtney: That’s a common issue. First, we work on identifying the asset pool. If the other party is refusing to disclose, we can file for specific disclosure orders or even issue subpoenas. Once we’re in court, most parties end up complying because they have no choice.
At the same time, we can apply for spousal maintenance or litigation funding, which is vital because it not only helps with legal fees but ensures you’re on equal footing in negotiations.
Nova: So, you apply for that straight away?
Courtney: Yes, as early as possible. This ensures that by the time we reach mediation or negotiations, the client has the funds to pay their lawyer and isn’t left at a disadvantage.
Nova: What if the asset pool hasn’t been identified, or there’s nothing there?
Courtney: If there’s no asset pool, litigation funding won’t be applicable. But the first step is always identifying the assets, liabilities, and superannuation — through disclosure, valuations, and sometimes subpoenas.
Nova: What about cases where the abuser has drained all the money? How can someone in that situation afford a lawyer?
Courtney: In those cases, I’d recommend contacting a Community Legal Centre or Legal Aid, which provide free advice. Sometimes, just getting initial advice is enough to figure out next steps. It might not even require formal property settlement proceedings.
Nova: I know victims who’ve been at home for years, with no income or qualifications, and suddenly they’re stuck after separation. What can they do to get back on their feet, especially when the abuser is the one with all the money?
Courtney: That’s a common scenario, and it’s often women who are stuck in that position. The abuser might encourage them to stay home, saying it’s for their benefit, but it’s really a trap. In these cases, spousal maintenance can be crucial. If there’s income or assets available, we can apply for resources to meet the victim's needs.
Nova: And what if the victim wants to stay in the house, but the abuser refuses to leave?
Courtney: There are options here too. One would be seeking a Family Violence Order through the magistrate’s court, which can include an occupation order, requiring the abuser to leave the home.
Nova: Does coercive control come into play here? With new legislation coming in March in Queensland, will this help these cases?
Courtney: Coercive control has long been recognised as a form of abuse, but this legislation will make it much clearer. The law recognises that even if there’s no physical abuse, someone’s behaviour can still be controlling and manipulative. The new laws should help survivors because the court can consider the emotional and psychological impacts of the abuse on the victim, which is very important.
Nova: So, if there’s enough evidence, the abuser could be forced out of the house?
Courtney: Exactly. With the right evidence, the court can order the abuser to leave, protecting the survivor and their children.

Nova: Thank you so much, Courtney. This has been so insightful, and I’m sure our listeners will feel empowered knowing they have options when it comes to navigating the legal system.