Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
The podcast where Fake Love is exposed. Welcome to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys! Hosted by Nova Gibson, Principal Counsellor at Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling, this podcast is dedicated to helping you navigate the pain and confusion of toxic relationships, and emotional abuse, especially those involving a suspected or undiagnosed narcissist.
Nova brings years of expertise as a specialist trauma-informed counsellor, guiding survivors of narcissistic abuse to become the experts in their own trauma. In relationships where narcissists rarely, if ever, seek a diagnosis—believing there is nothing wrong with their behaviour—it’s vital for survivors to gain clarity, validation, and the tools needed to heal.
Through candid conversations, expert insights, and practical strategies, Nova and her guests unpack the manipulative tactics of emotional abuse, from gaslighting and control to triangulation and smear campaigns. Whether you’re dealing with a narcissistic partner, parent, coworker, or friend, Fake Love and Flying Monkeys empowers you to identify the patterns, set healthy boundaries, and rebuild your confidence after years of self-doubt and emotional exhaustion.
This podcast doesn’t just shine a light on the hidden dynamics of narcissistic abuse—it hands you the torch to take back your power. You’ll learn to validate your experiences, protect your mental health, and break free from the toxic cycle, even without the confirmation of a formal diagnosis.
If you’ve ever felt trapped, silenced, or unsure of how to move forward, this is your safe space. Nova’s compassionate, down-to-earth approach ensures you’re not just heard—you’re understood.
Tune in to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys and discover the tools you need to expose the fake love in your life, reclaim your worth, and step into a future of peace and empowerment. Visit www.brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au to learn more, leave a review, and grab Nova’s book, Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse. It’s time to rewrite your story.
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
4 ways Covert Narcissists destroy your Happiness
4 Ways Covert Narcissists Destroy Your Happiness
In this eye-opening episode I take you on a deep dive into the subtle yet devastating tactics covert narcissists use to chip away at your happiness. While their methods may seem less obvious than those of the overt narcissist, covert narcissists are just as destructive. They operate behind a mask of humility, kindness, or even victimhood, all while strategically eroding any joy in your life.
I explore four key ways covert narcissists manipulate and harm, including emotional gaslighting, silent sabotage, and the insidious guilt trips they use to stifle your happines and realise your worth.
Whether you’re dealing with a covert narcissist in a romantic relationship, family, workplace, or friendship, this episode offers clarity and validation.
For Zoom counselling support in your narcissistic abuse recovery available worldwide, please visit my website below.
Nova 🌻
www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au
If you found this episode informative, I would absolutely love it if you could rate this podcast, leave a review, and please share, Share, SHARE! Help to spread awareness around Narcissistic Abuse, so there's more support and justice for survivors!
Nova xx
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Thankyou so much for listening!
Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse.
If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me , please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service , or email me at nova.pollard123gmail.com
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How Covert Narcissists Steal Your Happiness: 4 Ways They Secretly Sabotage You
When you think of a narcissist, the image that comes to mind might be someone loud, arrogant, and self-obsessed. However, covert narcissists are the opposite—they are subtle, sneaky, and often harder to identify. These individuals can infiltrate your life effortlessly, disguised as shy, introverted, and even victimized people.
But don’t let the facade fool you. Covert narcissists are just as dangerous, if not more so, than their overt counterparts. Their tactics often involve stripping you of your happiness and identity without you even realising it. Let’s dive into the four specific ways covert narcissists destroy your happiness and how you can recognise and resist their tactics.
1. Sabotaging Your Joy
Covert narcissists have a knack for undermining anything that brings you happiness—especially when it’s unrelated to them. They might not do it overtly; instead, they employ passive-aggressive tactics to make it seem like you’re responsible for your own disappointments.
For example, let’s say you have a job interview that excites you. The night before, your covert narcissist partner starts a random argument, keeps you awake, or finds other ways to exhaust you. By morning, you’re too drained to perform at your best or even attend the interview. When you cancel, they’ll make you feel like it was all your fault.
This is sabotage at its finest. Their goal? To strip you of independence and success so you remain dependent on them. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. These tactics are designed to make you doubt yourself while giving the narcissist complete control over your happiness.
2. Ruining Your Efforts to Make Them Happy
Ironically, even your attempts to make a narcissist happy can end up draining your joy. Imagine going all out to plan a surprise birthday party for your partner. You organise their favourite food, invite their friends and family, and create what you think is the perfect celebration.
How do they respond? Maybe they act indifferent, annoyed, or critical. If they seem to enjoy it, don’t be fooled—because the next day, they’ll likely find ways to punish you. They might accuse you of spending too much money or deliberately excluding someone important to them. No matter how much effort you put in, they’ll twist the situation to make you feel inadequate.
Why do they do this? Narcissists despise seeing you find joy in making others happy. They can’t handle the idea that you might be emotionally fulfilled by something outside of their control.
3. Minimising Your Successes and Achievements
Another key tactic covert narcissists use is downplaying your accomplishments. Have you ever shared exciting news, like a promotion at work or praise for a project, only to be met with indifference or criticism?
Instead of celebrating with you, a covert narcissist might brush off your achievements with comments like:
- “That’s nothing special.”
- “Why are you bragging?”
- “Do you think you’re better than everyone else now?”
Over time, this behaviour conditions you to stop sharing your successes. You might even begin to feel ashamed of your own achievements. Their goal is to keep you from feeling proud of yourself, ensuring that any source of happiness remains firmly out of your reach.
4. Isolating You from Loved Ones
Perhaps the most devastating way a covert narcissist destroys your happiness is by isolating you from the people who bring you joy. Friends and family who genuinely care about you become targets for the narcissist’s manipulation.
They might:
- Create drama between you and your loved ones.
- Spread lies or rumours about your friends and family through a smear campaign.
- Convince you that these people don’t have your best interests at heart.
The goal is to make you feel entirely dependent on them for emotional support. They’ll ensure you’re cut off from anyone who could offer you a different perspective or help you escape the toxic relationship.
For example, they might guilt-trip you for spending time with your family, accusing you of neglecting them. Or they’ll create wedges by spreading false narratives, leaving you isolated and emotionally vulnerable.
Why Do Narcissists Target Your Happiness?
At the root of these behaviours is the narcissist’s pathological envy. They cannot experience genuine happiness or peace themselves, so they resent anyone who can. Your joy highlights their emptiness, making them feel worse about themselves.
By destroying your happiness, they regain a sense of control and superiority. It’s a cruel cycle, but understanding their motives can help you reclaim your power.