Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
A Toxic relationship and Fake love looks real—until it destroys you.
Welcome to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, the podcast that exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, and emotional manipulation. Hosted by Nova Gibson, leading trauma-informed counsellor and Director of Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling, this podcast is your guide to breaking free from the confusion, fear, and self-doubt that come with being entangled with a narcissist.
In every episode, Nova draws from years of experience working with survivors to explore the complex, often covert tactics used in emotionally abusive relationships—from gaslighting, triangulation, and the silent treatment to smear campaigns and intermittent reinforcement.
Whether you're struggling with a narcissistic partner, parent, boss, or friend, Fake Love and Flying Monkeys gives you the tools and knowledge to understand the abuse, trust your instincts, and reclaim your power—even if the narcissist has never been formally diagnosed.
This is more than a podcast—it’s a lifeline.
You’ll get:
Clear explanations of narcissistic behaviour patterns
Practical strategies for setting boundaries and detaching
Real talk about the emotional rollercoaster of trauma bonding
Validation, clarity, and a path toward healing from narcissistic abuse
If you've ever felt trapped in a relationship that chips away at your self-worth, this podcast will help you name it, face it, and finally break free.
You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. You’re in the fog of narcissistic abuse—and Nova is here to help guide you out.
Visit https://www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au/
for more support and resources.
It’s time to expose the fake love, silence the flying monkeys, and rewrite your story.
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
10 Behaviours of the Ageing Narcissist.
"They don’t mellow with age—they just master new ways to manipulate."
In this insightful episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we explore the 10 key behaviours of the ageing narcissist—from guilt-tripping to rewriting history, and everything in between.
"Age doesn’t soften narcissism—it sharpens the need for control."
As narcissists grow older, their usual tools—like charm and intimidation—may lose their power. What takes their place? Increased emotional manipulation, health-based guilt tactics, and a desperate scramble for relevance.
Their fear of being forgotten fuels their most toxic behaviours.
I’ll share real-life stories from my counselling practice, including ageing parents who use declining health to control adult children, or narcissistic elders who deny any wrongdoing from the past. Whether you're dealing with a narcissistic parent, partner, or even a colleague nearing retirement, this episode will help you spot the patterns and protect your peace.
You’ll also learn how the ageing narcissist’s fragile ego drives attention-seeking, denial, and blame-shifting—and what you can do to emotionally detach and safeguard your boundaries.
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Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.
Nova xx
Aging and the Narcissist: 10 Traits and Behaviours to Watch For
Aging is one of those universal experiences. For most of us, it’s a time to slow down, reflect, and appreciate the things that truly matter. Sure, the grey hairs and wrinkles might show up uninvited, but we often learn to embrace them as signs of a life well-lived. Not so for narcissists. For them, aging feels less like a gentle transformation and more like a full-blown crisis. It strips away their ability to control, charm, and dominate the way they once did, leaving their insecurities fully exposed. Let’s dive into how narcissists handle aging (hint: not gracefully) and what behaviours to keep an eye on.
The Difference Between Non-Narcissists and Narcissists in Aging
Most people navigate aging by leaning into the joys of inner growth, family, and the little things in life that bring happiness. Maybe they’ll try a new haircut or experiment with skincare, but it’s more about feeling good than chasing lost youth.
Narcissists, on the other hand, see aging as a personal attack. Losing their looks, status, or influence feels like their world is crumbling. Their identity, so tightly wound around external validation, takes a hit, and they’re left scrambling to regain control. The fallout? A spike in toxic behaviours, often aimed at those closest to them—adult children, spouses, or other family members.
1. Escalating Anger and Bitterness
As time chips away at their once-inflated image, narcissists often lash out. They’re furious that their grandiose dreams didn’t pan out and resent losing the adoration they once demanded. That bitterness? It’s aimed squarely at anyone nearby, especially family members who become convenient scapegoats for their disappointments.
2. Depression from Losing Narcissistic Supply
Narcissists live off external validation like it’s oxygen. But aging often cuts off those sources. Long-time friends, colleagues, and even family grow tired of their antics, leaving the narcissist feeling hollow and unfulfilled. Unlike others who turn to loved ones or self-reflection, narcissists lack the tools for real connection or personal growth, sinking deeper into depression.
3. Intense Anxiety
The loss of control that comes with aging fuels overwhelming anxiety. Whether it’s about their appearance, finances, or influence, this fear drives them to desperate, often irrational actions. Ironically, these behaviours alienate the very people they’re trying to hold on to, perpetuating their downward spiral.
4. Dependence on Adult Children
Adult children often become the primary targets of aging narcissists. Using guilt, manipulation, and societal expectations (“You can’t abandon your parents!”), they demand time, money, or emotional support. Yet, they rarely reciprocate with kindness—criticism and control remain their go-to tactics.
5. Obsessing Over Appearance
For many narcissists, their looks are their identity, and aging throws a wrench into that. Wrinkles and grey hair? Unacceptable. To combat this, they’ll dive headfirst into cosmetic procedures or drastic measures to cling to their youth. Unfortunately, these efforts often leave them looking less youthful and more exaggerated.
6. Denial of Aging
Narcissists are masters of denial, and aging is no exception. They convince themselves they’re still just as attractive or influential as ever, leading to cringey behaviours like dating much younger partners or dressing inappropriately for their age. It’s all about keeping up the illusion of who they used to be.
7. Stirring Up Family Drama
If their adult children have built happy, stable lives, aging narcissists often see this as a threat. They’ll meddle in relationships, create tension between siblings or in-laws, and disrupt family dynamics—all in an attempt to stay relevant and in control.
8. Manipulating with Wills and Inheritance
Money becomes another tool for control. Aging narcissists often dangle inheritance or financial promises to manipulate their family, ensuring loyalty and obedience. The constant threat of being cut out of the will keeps loved ones walking on eggshells.
9. Chronic Complaining
Health issues, finances, or simply being “underappreciated”—aging narcissists are chronic complainers. No matter how much effort their family puts in, it’s never enough. This endless dissatisfaction is a way to keep the focus on themselves and maintain a sense of control.
10. Fear of Being Alone
Beneath the bravado lies a deep fear of solitude. Narcissists dread being left to face their insecurities without an audience or a scapegoat. But instead of using this fear as motivation to change, they cling to anyone who will put up with them, often driving people away in the process.
Aging as the Narcissist’s Karma
For a narcissist, aging is the ultimate wake-up call—and not the good kind. The facade they’ve carefully crafted begins to crumble. Their inability to build genuine connections leaves them isolated, clinging to whatever scraps of control they can muster. And while they may still find someone to manipulate, these relationships lack the depth and adoration they crave.
A Note for Victims
If you’re dealing with an aging narcissist—whether they’re a parent, partner, or someone else close to you—it’s vital to protect your boundaries. Their behaviour is not your responsibility. You can show compassion without sacrificing your mental health. And remember: setting limits doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you strong.
Aging may bring wisdom and peace for many, but for the narcissist, it’s a bitter battle they can never truly win. Recognising these behaviours can help you navigate their toxicity and reclaim your own life.