Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
A Toxic relationship and Fake love looks real—until it destroys you.
Welcome to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, the podcast that exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, and emotional manipulation. Hosted by Nova Gibson, leading trauma-informed counsellor and Director of Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling, this podcast is your guide to breaking free from the confusion, fear, and self-doubt that come with being entangled with a narcissist.
In every episode, Nova draws from years of experience working with survivors to explore the complex, often covert tactics used in emotionally abusive relationships—from gaslighting, triangulation, and the silent treatment to smear campaigns and intermittent reinforcement.
Whether you're struggling with a narcissistic partner, parent, boss, or friend, Fake Love and Flying Monkeys gives you the tools and knowledge to understand the abuse, trust your instincts, and reclaim your power—even if the narcissist has never been formally diagnosed.
This is more than a podcast—it’s a lifeline.
You’ll get:
Clear explanations of narcissistic behaviour patterns
Practical strategies for setting boundaries and detaching
Real talk about the emotional rollercoaster of trauma bonding
Validation, clarity, and a path toward healing from narcissistic abuse
If you've ever felt trapped in a relationship that chips away at your self-worth, this podcast will help you name it, face it, and finally break free.
You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. You’re in the fog of narcissistic abuse—and Nova is here to help guide you out.
Visit https://www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au/
for more support and resources.
It’s time to expose the fake love, silence the flying monkeys, and rewrite your story.
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
Top 20 Lies Narcissists Smear you With - Part 1
"The narcissist’s lies aren’t random—they’re strategic character assassination."
In Part 1 of this explosive two-part series on Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I reveal the top 20 smear campaign lies narcissists use to destroy your reputation and play the victim. These manipulative tactics are designed to make you look unstable, abusive, or untrustworthy—while they gain sympathy and control.
They lie to ruin your credibility, not just your confidence.
Whether you’re dealing with a narcissistic ex, parent, friend, or colleague, this episode exposes the specific narcissist smear tactics used to damage your relationships, isolate you, and maintain their power. From gaslighting to projection, you’ll hear real-life examples of how these lies unfold—and why people often fall for them.
Smear campaigns are psychological warfare—and survivors deserve to understand what’s really happening.
I also unpack the deeper motivation behind the narcissist’s slander, revealing how their fear of exposure fuels their obsession with destroying your image.
Don’t miss this episode if you’ve ever wondered why people believe the narcissist—or how to protect your peace in the face of emotional abuse and reputation sabotage.
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Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.
Nova xx
Top 20 Lies a Narcissist Uses to Smear You: Part 1
Understanding the Narcissistic Smear Campaign
Before delving into the specific lies, let’s explore what a smear campaign is and why narcissists employ this tactic. At its core, a smear campaign is about smearing your credibility and reputation. Narcissists strategically manipulate others to isolate and discredit you, ensuring that when you attempt to expose their abusive behaviour, no one will believe you. The smear campaign serves two primary purposes: to punish you for perceived wrongs and to maintain control by isolating you from your support system.
Victims often discover the smear campaign when it is already in full swing. They notice that people are treating them differently, social connections are fading, or their online presence shows signs of disconnection, such as dwindling social media engagement. These campaigns often begin subtly, with the narcissist planting seeds of doubt early in the relationship, which later blossom into full-blown character assassinations.
For example, after baiting you into a heated argument, the narcissist may approach mutual acquaintances with feigned concern: “I’m really worried about Sophie. She was so angry last night. I love her and want to help her, but I’m not sure how.” This manipulative act positions them as the caring partner while portraying you as unstable. Over time, these seeds grow, enabling the narcissist to amplify their narrative and spread falsehoods about you.
From my experience as a trauma-informed counsellor working with survivors of narcissistic abuse, I’ve witnessed some of the most egregious lies used to destroy victims. Let’s examine ten of the most common lies narcissists use in their smear campaigns.
1. “You’ve Got Mental Health Issues”
This lie often frames you as emotionally unstable, claiming that you’re happy one moment and anxious or depressed the next. The narcissist may exploit your legitimate struggles with anxiety or depression, which are often a direct result of their abuse, to bolster their claims. They’ll conveniently omit their role in creating this distress, instead portraying themselves as the long-suffering partner who has endured your “issues” for far too long.
2. “You’re Ungrateful”
Narcissists often paint a picture where nothing they do is ever good enough for you. They claim to have spent their lives trying to please you, only to be met with constant criticism. What they don’t share is the context: your focus on their harmful behaviours such as lying, cheating, and gaslighting. Instead, they emphasise their rare moments of kindness, framing your justified concerns as ungratefulness.
3. “You’re Insecure”
This accusation invalidates your concerns, whether about dishonesty, infidelity, or other deceitful behaviours. Narcissists deliberately sow seeds of insecurity by leaving subtle clues of their transgressions, such as unexplained absences or cryptic messages, only to accuse you of overreacting. This gaslighting tactic shifts the blame, making you appear irrational while they continue their manipulative ways.
4. “You Refuse to Address Your Past Trauma”
Feigning concern, the narcissist may claim they’ve done everything to support you, but you’re unwilling to heal from your past. What they fail to mention is their use of your vulnerabilities against you. By reopening old wounds or mimicking past abuse, they weaponise your trauma to maintain control and justify their actions to others.
5. “You’re a Liar and a Manipulator”
Projection is at play here. Narcissists accuse you of the very behaviours they engage in. For instance, a minor change in your plans, like deciding to shop at a different store, is equated to their significant lies and betrayals. This tactic not only confuses you but also convinces others that you’re untrustworthy.
6. “You’re Jealous and Can’t Let Go”
After ending the relationship, the narcissist portrays themselves as the amicable one, eager to move on while you’re supposedly clinging to the past. They might exaggerate your understandable hurt or suspicion, twisting it into jealousy and erratic behaviour. This narrative bolsters their image as desirable and sought-after, casting you as irrational.
7. “You Cheated on Them”
This classic example of projection sees the narcissist accusing you of infidelity to deflect from their own unfaithfulness. By pre-emptively telling others you were unfaithful, they create doubt around your truth. When you later reveal their infidelity, it aligns with the lies they’ve already spread, making you appear defensive or dishonest.
8. “You Were Using Them”
Narcissists may claim you used them for financial support, a child, or an easy life. These accusations ignore mutual agreements within the relationship, such as one partner staying home or sharing parental responsibilities. Instead, they rewrite history, framing themselves as victims of your exploitation.
9. “You’re Controlling”
They accuse you of being overly controlling, constantly demanding to know their whereabouts or activities. What they neglect to mention is their own deceitful behaviour, which naturally fosters mistrust. By flipping the narrative, they justify their secrecy and portray themselves as the oppressed party.
10. “You Have Anger Management Issues”
Narcissists often exaggerate your justified anger, framing it as irrational outbursts. They claim they’re constantly walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting you. Meanwhile, they conveniently ignore their role in provoking your anger through lies, betrayal, or other abusive tactics.
Recognising the Patterns
These lies are designed to shift blame, isolate you, and maintain the narcissist’s facade. By understanding their tactics, you can begin to see through the manipulative web they weave. Remember, these smears are not a reflection of who you are but rather a projection of the narcissist’s own flaws and insecurities.
Stay tuned for Part 2, where we’ll explore ten more lies narcissists use to discredit and control their victims.