Top 20 Lies Narcissists Smear you With - Part 2

Top 20 Lies Narcissists Smear you With
  - Part 2.

In this final episode of a 2 part series I   dive deeper into one of the most destructive tools in a narcissist’s arsenal: the smear campaign. Why do narcissists go to such great lengths to tarnish your reputation? What motivates them to twist the truth, spread lies, and turn others against you?

From protecting their fragile ego to manipulating others into seeing you as the villain, smear campaigns are calculated and cruel—but they don’t have to define you.

In this episode you will hear more of the top 20 lies narcissists use to smear you with, to help you recognise these toxic behaviours. 

This 2 part series is a must-listen for anyone who’s ever been blindsided by a narcissist’s lies. 


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Transcript

Top 20 Lies Narcissists Use to Smear You – Part 2: Lies 11 to 20

Narcissists have a notorious way of manipulating the truth, and when they set out on a smear campaign against you, they’ll pull out all the stops to ruin your reputation. In part 1 of this series, we explored the first 10 lies they’ll tell. Now, let’s dive into lies 11 to 20, and continue exposing the twisted tactics narcissists use to attack their victims.

11. "You've Changed – I Don't Recognize You Anymore"

This is a classic narcissistic lie. They'll tell others that you're not the person they once knew, that you've changed for the worse. They’ll say things like, “You’re not affectionate anymore,” or “You’ve let yourself go.” The truth? They are the reason you’ve changed. Narcissists drain your energy, erode your self-worth, and push you to the point of exhaustion. The shifts in your behaviour or appearance are a direct result of their emotional abuse. They’ll never own up to it, though. Instead, they’ll rewrite the narrative to make you seem like the problem, hiding their toxic influence in plain sight.

12. "You Have Addiction Issues"

Narcissists love to create a storyline where you’re the one with “addiction problems.” If you’ve had a drink or taken something to cope with the stress they’ve caused, they’ll turn it into a bigger issue than it is. They will paint you as someone who can’t control your impulses and accuse you of having substance abuse problems. The truth? Narcissists often provoke these moments, pushing you to the edge with their manipulative behaviour, and then twisting your reactions to further isolate you.

They might also spread this lie to your family, friends, or in court, painting themselves as the one trying to protect you from your supposed addiction. The reality is they’re just looking to discredit you and take the focus away from their own toxic actions.

13. "You Don't Like Their Friends or Family"

Another common smear tactic is to accuse you of trying to keep them away from their friends or family. Narcissists will say you “don’t like their people” and that you’re the one causing rifts between them and their support network. The truth is that their friends and family often enable their bad behaviour, and you might not get along because of how toxic they are. Narcissists won’t tell anyone that it’s their friends or family who mistreat you; instead, they’ll paint you as the one with a problem.

This lie helps the narcissist keep their social circle intact while isolating you from anyone who might see through their manipulations. By spinning this narrative, they create more distance between you and the people who could potentially help you see the truth.

14. "You're Obsessed and Can't Move On"

After a breakup or even after they've discarded you, narcissists will accuse you of being obsessed with them. They’ll say things like, “You can’t move on,” or “You’re stalking me.” In reality, it’s usually them who is still trying to control you, often using manipulative tactics to keep you in their orbit.

They’ll tell others you can’t take a hint and are “harassing” them, even if you’ve only tried to get closure or express your feelings. Meanwhile, the narcissist is the one who might be lurking around your social media or making sneaky attempts to stay in touch, all while pointing the finger at you for any interaction.

15. "You're a Bad Parent"

One of the most damaging and hurtful lies a narcissist can spread is that you’re a bad parent. They will say you’re neglecting your children, that you don’t care for them, or that you’re not doing enough to support them. The truth is, they’re just trying to paint you as unfit so they can maintain control of the situation or manipulate custody arrangements.

Narcissists will often create situations where you’re forced to react emotionally, then use your reaction against you. They might accuse you of yelling in front of the kids, even though their behaviour is what triggered it. Their goal is to make you look unstable, all while they’re the ones creating the drama.

16. "You're a Drama Queen"

This is a classic move to dismiss your emotions and reactions. Narcissists will label you as a “drama queen” or “overreacting” anytime you stand up for yourself or react to their abusive behaviour. The truth is that you're just trying to hold them accountable, but they’re so adept at manipulating situations that they make your healthy emotional responses look exaggerated.

They thrive on chaos and conflict. If you ever try to establish boundaries or express your feelings, they’ll make it seem like you're the one stirring up unnecessary drama. They’ll twist things so that every time you react to their mistreatment, they get to paint you as unstable and emotional.

17. "You're Irresponsible with Money"

Narcissists love to paint you as financially irresponsible. They might claim that you spend too much, don't budget properly, or waste money on unnecessary things. The reality? They often manipulate the financial situation, keeping you financially dependent on them or sabotaging your ability to manage your own money.

In some cases, narcissists might even control your finances, using gaslighting tactics to make you doubt your spending habits. If you're struggling financially, they will spin the story and make it seem like it’s all your fault. They will never take responsibility for their actions, but instead, they’ll shift the blame onto you.

18. "You're Lazy"

Narcissists love to label you as lazy, especially when they don’t want to do their part in a relationship or household. If they want to avoid responsibilities or blame you for the state of things, they’ll say you're lazy or don't care enough to contribute. The truth is, you’re probably juggling multiple responsibilities—working, taking care of kids, managing the home—and dealing with their emotional abuse on top of it.

They will often sit back and do nothing, leaving all the work on your shoulders. When you get tired or frustrated, they’ll accuse you of being lazy. Their aim is to make you feel guilty for not doing enough, even though they’re the ones contributing to the chaos and imbalance.

19. "You're Needy and Suffocating"

Narcissists love to accuse their victims of being “needy” or “clingy.” If you're asking for emotional support or trying to spend time with them, they’ll say you're suffocating them. They’ll claim that you're overly dependent and can’t function without them. The truth is, they’ve manipulated you into relying on them emotionally, leaving you feeling like you need their approval or affection to feel validated.

This lie is designed to make you feel insecure about your own needs. They want you to believe that you’re asking for too much when, in reality, it’s completely normal to want connection and support in a healthy relationship. They’ve just twisted things to make you doubt yourself.

20. "You're Lazy and Unmotivated"

When a narcissist calls you lazy or unmotivated, it’s another form of manipulation. They’ll say you're not trying hard enough or that you don't have any ambition. The reality? You may be emotionally drained and exhausted from constantly dealing with their toxic behaviour. They’re the ones who have worn you down, leaving you feeling like you don’t have the energy to chase your dreams.

Their goal is to make you feel like you’re failing, while they sit back and watch. They won’t take any responsibility for the way they’ve chipped away at your confidence and motivation. Instead, they’ll make you believe it’s all on you, and that you’re just lazy or unambitious.

Conclusion

The lies narcissists spread are designed to isolate you, diminish your sense of self-worth, and manipulate others into believing their twisted narrative. They’ll use these smear tactics to turn the truth upside down, making you out to be the villain when they’re the ones causing the damage. If you’re dealing with a narcissistic smear campaign, it’s important to remember that these lies are not a reflection of who you are—they’re simply a reflection of the narcissist’s need to maintain control. Understanding these tactics is the first step to protecting yourself and reclaiming your truth.

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