Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
The podcast where Fake Love is exposed. Welcome to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys! Hosted by Nova Gibson, Principal Counsellor at Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling, this podcast is dedicated to helping you navigate the pain and confusion of toxic relationships, and emotional abuse, especially those involving a suspected or undiagnosed narcissist.
Nova brings years of expertise as a specialist trauma-informed counsellor, guiding survivors of narcissistic abuse to become the experts in their own trauma. In relationships where narcissists rarely, if ever, seek a diagnosis—believing there is nothing wrong with their behaviour—it’s vital for survivors to gain clarity, validation, and the tools needed to heal.
Through candid conversations, expert insights, and practical strategies, Nova and her guests unpack the manipulative tactics of emotional abuse, from gaslighting and control to triangulation and smear campaigns. Whether you’re dealing with a narcissistic partner, parent, coworker, or friend, Fake Love and Flying Monkeys empowers you to identify the patterns, set healthy boundaries, and rebuild your confidence after years of self-doubt and emotional exhaustion.
This podcast doesn’t just shine a light on the hidden dynamics of narcissistic abuse—it hands you the torch to take back your power. You’ll learn to validate your experiences, protect your mental health, and break free from the toxic cycle, even without the confirmation of a formal diagnosis.
If you’ve ever felt trapped, silenced, or unsure of how to move forward, this is your safe space. Nova’s compassionate, down-to-earth approach ensures you’re not just heard—you’re understood.
Tune in to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys and discover the tools you need to expose the fake love in your life, reclaim your worth, and step into a future of peace and empowerment. Visit www.brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au to learn more, leave a review, and grab Nova’s book, Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse. It’s time to rewrite your story.
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
5 Reasons Narcissists NEVER Give You Closure.
5 Reasons Narcissists NEVER Give You Closure.
Have you ever been stuck waiting for the narcissist to give you the closure you need? Maybe you’ve hoped for an apology, an explanation, or even a shred of accountability—but all you’ve gotten is silence, more manipulation, or outright gaslighting. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we’re diving into 5 reasons why narcissists just won’t give you closure. Spoiler alert: it’s not about you—it’s about keeping you stuck in their toxic web. I’ll break down the five main reasons they withhold that resolution and share real-life examples from my counselling practice to show just how calculated their behaviour can be.
If you’re stuck wondering why the narcissist won’t just let you move on, this episode will help you see the bigger picture. More importantly, I’ll give you tips to take back your power and find your own closure—because you deserve peace, and you’ll never get it from them.
If you would like to book a zoom counselling session with me please visit my website below 👇
www.brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au
To order your copy of my best-selling book Fake Love - Understanding and healing from narcissistic abuse see link below 👇
https://linktr.ee/novagibson
Thankyou so much for listening!
Please remember the information you hear in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy, is general information, and strictly the opinions of the host based on her years of experience working with thousands of victims of narcissistic abuse.
If you would like to make an appointment for individual counselling with me , please visit my website at ,Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling Service , or email me at nova.pollard123gmail.com
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or simply go directly to Amazon
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When something traumatic happens in our life, whether it's the loss of a loved one, involvement in a horrific accident, or perhaps the loss of your home through fire or flood, it's natural for us to seek closure. It could also be coming out of a toxic and abusive relationship with a narcissist. Whatever the trauma, the instinct to seek closure is innate. We want to know the "why" and the "how" behind what happened. Sometimes, even if the event was unfair or unjustified, the desire for clarity and understanding can provide comfort. The peace that comes with knowing there was nothing we could have done to change the outcome is essential for healing.
However, closure is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It's different for everyone. For some, closure means understanding the events, and for others, it means finding peace with the reality of what happened. In terms of narcissistic abuse, true closure comes when the narcissist no longer has the power to control or influence our emotional state. You might still think about them from time to time, but those thoughts no longer have the same hold over you. There’s a mental brick wall between you and the narcissist where you stop caring about their actions, whether they’re suffering, thriving, or just going on with their life.
Achieving this level of closure is challenging because narcissists are known for sabotaging the process. They’ll dangle small "breadcrumbs" of hope or initiate the cycle of abuse again to prevent you from ever moving on. If they can keep you emotionally hooked, they can keep you as a source of supply when they need it.
Here are five important reasons why the narcissist will never give you closure:
1. They Want to Keep a Foot in the Door
Narcissists don’t want to let go completely. Even when they discard you, they don’t want the door to be fully closed. The reason is simple: when they're low on supply, they want the option to return. They’ve already done the hard work of love-bombing and grooming you, and they know you’re an easy target. They want to keep you in a state of confusion and self-doubt so that when they need attention or validation, they can come back to you without any effort. Giving you closure means cutting off this possibility, which is why they’ll do everything they can to prevent it. They’ll leave you hanging with no answers, making it easier for them to return when they need a boost in their ego.
2. They Know Closure is Something You Want
Narcissists derive power from denying you the things you want, and closure is no exception. If you seek closure, they’ll use that desire to manipulate you. For example, if you try to have a conversation with them to get answers, they’ll turn it into an opportunity to deepen your confusion or to reinforce their control over you. They might even give you just enough to keep you emotionally tied to them, but never enough to offer real resolution. This cycle is part of their strategy: they want to make sure that you remain emotionally invested, regardless of how toxic the relationship was.
3. They Want to Triangulate You with Another Target
Triangulation is a classic narcissistic manipulation tactic. The narcissist doesn’t want you to move on because it makes it harder for them to continue their games. One way they keep you trapped is by introducing a new target and then playing the two of you against each other. You might be left without closure, confused and searching for answers while the narcissist starts a new relationship. To add fuel to the fire, they might tell the new target how "crazy" or "obsessive" you are, further isolating you and making it harder for you to escape their mental grip. This manipulation keeps you in a state of emotional chaos and makes it easier for them to maintain control over both you and their new target.
4. They Enjoy Watching Your Pain
Sadly, narcissists often take pleasure in their victim’s suffering. They enjoy the fact that they have caused you pain and distress, especially when they can see that you’re struggling with the lack of closure. They’ll justify their behavior in their minds, rationalizing that you somehow deserve the hurt they’ve caused. In some cases, they might even feed off the emotional reactions they provoke in you. This sadistic enjoyment is a core feature of narcissistic abuse. They don’t want you to move on, because your inability to heal makes them feel powerful and in control.
5. They Don't Want to Lose Their Source of Narcissistic Supply
Ultimately, narcissists need to maintain a steady flow of narcissistic supply. Closure means the end of that supply, and they can’t afford to lose it. They need your attention, your energy, and your emotional reactions to feed their ego. If they give you closure, you might heal and move on, and they’ll lose a valuable resource. The narcissist’s ego is fragile, and as long as they know they have access to you, they can continue to use you as a source of validation, admiration, or even conflict. This is why they’ll avoid giving you closure at all costs.
Understanding these reasons can be eye-opening for anyone who’s trying to make sense of the narcissist’s refusal to provide closure. It's essential to recognise that closure is not something you will get from the narcissist. True healing comes from accepting that you may never receive the answers you're seeking. Once you stop looking for closure from the narcissist and start focusing on your own healing, you’ll be able to regain control over your life and begin to rebuild your emotional strength.
4o mini
You said:
make at least 1500 words
ChatGPT said:
ChatGPT
Absolutely! Here's an extended version of the content with more depth:
When something traumatic happens in our lives, whether it's the loss of a loved one, involvement in a horrific accident, or perhaps the loss of your home through fire or flood, it's natural for us to seek closure. It could also be coming out of a toxic and abusive relationship with a narcissist. Whatever the trauma, the instinct to seek closure is innate. We want to know the "why" and the "how" behind what happened. Sometimes, even if the event was unfair or unjustified, the desire for clarity and understanding can provide comfort. The peace that comes with knowing there was nothing we could have done to change the outcome is essential for healing.
However, closure is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It's different for everyone. For some, closure means understanding the events, and for others, it means finding peace with the reality of what happened. In terms of narcissistic abuse, true closure comes when the narcissist no longer has the power to control or influence our emotional state. You might still think about them from time to time, but those thoughts no longer have the same hold over you. There’s a mental brick wall between you and the narcissist where you stop caring about their actions, whether they’re suffering, thriving, or just going on with their life.
Achieving this level of closure is challenging because narcissists are known for sabotaging the process. They’ll dangle small "breadcrumbs" of hope or initiate the cycle of abuse again to prevent you from ever moving on. If they can keep you emotionally hooked, they can keep you as a source of supply when they need it.
Here are five important reasons why the narcissist will never give you closure:
1. They Want to Keep a Foot in the Door
Narcissists don’t want to let go completely. Even when they discard you, they don’t want the door to be fully closed. The reason is simple: when they're low on supply, they want the option to return. They’ve already done the hard work of love-bombing and grooming you, and they know you’re an easy target. They want to keep you in a state of confusion and self-doubt so that when they need attention or validation, they can come back to you without any effort. They don't want to give you closure because it means they lose that option. If they provide closure, they are essentially closing the door on you forever.
This might look like sending you messages that confuse you, saying things like, “I still care about you,” or “I’ll always love you,” while they are already moving on to a new victim. This inconsistency is intentional; they want to keep you in an emotional state of uncertainty, unsure of whether or not they will come back into your life.
Narcissists thrive on the idea of having multiple sources of supply. They’re often engaged in relationships with several people at once, and keeping you “on the hook” ensures that they have options when they feel bored or need validation. Giving you closure would mean giving up that power, and narcissists are unwilling to do that. If they offer closure, they lose the emotional leverage that keeps you tied to them.
2. They Know Closure is Something You Want
Narcissists derive power from denying you the things you want, and closure is no exception. If you seek closure, they’ll use that desire to manipulate you. For example, if you try to have a conversation with them to get answers, they’ll turn it into an opportunity to deepen your confusion or to reinforce their control over you. They might even give you just enough to keep you emotionally tied to them, but never enough to offer real resolution. This cycle is part of their strategy: they want to make sure that you remain emotionally invested, regardless of how toxic the relationship was.
A narcissist doesn’t just ignore your need for closure; they deliberately prolong the pain. They might ghost you completely, leaving you to question what went wrong. Or, they might string you along with false promises, only to pull away at the last moment, leaving you hanging. This behavior reinforces their power over you because it creates a sense of urgency in you to seek answers. You might find yourself chasing after that closure, only to be met with more confusion and hurt. Every time you try to get clarity, they turn the tables and make it about them, leaving you more confused than before. This tactic ensures that you remain stuck in the cycle of dependency on them for validation and emotional resolution.
By withholding closure, narcissists maintain control. They want to keep you in a state of emotional turmoil, ensuring that you never fully move on. The moment you stop seeking closure is the moment they lose their grip on you, and that’s the last thing they want.
3. They Want to Triangulate You with Another Target
Triangulation is a classic narcissistic manipulation tactic. The narcissist doesn’t want you to move on because it makes it harder for them to continue their games. One way they keep you trapped is by introducing a new target and then playing the two of you against each other. You might be left without closure, confused and searching for answers while the narcissist starts a new relationship. To add fuel to the fire, they might tell the new target how "crazy" or "obsessive" you are, further isolating you and making it harder for you to escape their mental grip. This manipulation keeps you in a state of emotional chaos and makes it easier for them to maintain control over both you and their new target.
In some cases, the narcissist might even try to get you to compete with their new partner. They may claim that they’re still in love with you while engaging with someone else, or they may say they “miss” the old relationship while trying to build a new one. This serves several purposes. First, it reinforces their sense of superiority, knowing that they have two people fighting for their attention. Secondly, it keeps you emotionally destabilized, as you are left questioning why the narcissist chose someone else while they keep dangling the possibility of reconciliation in front of you.
Even though you may think that closure is only about understanding what happened, the narcissist's version of closure will often involve introducing more chaos and confusion into your life. This keeps you emotionally bound to them, even if you feel that the relationship is over. They will rarely allow you to simply move on without creating new complications, either by introducing a new victim or continuing to manipulate you with false promises of reconciliation.
4. They Enjoy Watching Your Pain
Sadly, narcissists often take pleasure in their victim’s suffering. They enjoy the fact that they have caused you pain and distress, especially when they can see that you’re struggling with the lack of closure. They’ll justify their behavior in their minds, rationalizing that you somehow deserve the hurt they’ve caused. In some cases, they might even feed off the emotional reactions they provoke in you. This sadistic enjoyment is a core feature of narcissistic abuse. They don’t want you to move on, because your inability to heal makes them feel powerful and in control.
The more you struggle, the more they feel validated in their superiority. Narcissists have little empathy, so they do not feel the same way about your pain as a non-narcissistic person would. Instead of feeling guilty for causing you emotional harm, they view your suffering as a confirmation of their dominance. Every time you struggle to move on, every time you reach out for answers, they see it as proof that they have the power to affect your life. This is part of their need to maintain control, as they feed off the emotional energy that you expend in trying to figure them out.
They want to keep you emotionally raw, so you are always in a state of dependency on them. Your pain serves their ego, and as long as you remain in turmoil, they feel validated. In some twisted way, it makes them feel good to know that they are still able to elicit such a strong emotional reaction from you.
5. They Don’t Want to Lose Their Source of Narcissistic Supply
Ultimately, narcissists need to maintain a steady flow of narcissistic supply. Closure means the end of that supply, and they can’t afford to lose it. They need your attention, your energy, and your emotional reactions to feed their ego. If they give you closure, you might heal and move on, and they’ll lose a valuable resource. The narcissist’s ego is fragile, and as long as they know they have access to you, they can continue to use you as a source of validation, admiration, or even conflict. This is why they’ll avoid giving you closure at all costs.
In fact, they may actively avoid giving you closure because they want to maintain their emotional hold over you. You might feel that by giving you closure, they would be releasing their grip on you, but in reality, it would mean losing a valuable source of narcissistic supply. The narcissist depends on the drama, chaos, and validation that they can extract from you, and closing the door on the relationship would mean that they no longer have that constant source of supply.
It’s essential to recognise that narcissists can’t give you closure because they don’t see your need for closure as something important to them. They don’t care about your healing or emotional well-being. They only care about themselves, and giving you closure would be the ultimate surrender of their control. The narcissist doesn’t want to lose the ability to manipulate your emotions or to gain narcissistic supply from you.
Understanding these reasons can be eye-opening for anyone who’s trying to make sense of the narcissist’s refusal to provide closure. It's essential to recognise that closure is not something you will get from the narcissist. True healing comes from accepting that you may never receive the answers you're seeking. Once you stop looking for closure from the narcissist and start focusing on your own healing, you’ll be able to regain control over your life and begin to rebuild your emotional strength. Taking back your power means accepting that the narcissist will never give you the closure you crave—and that’s okay. The closure you seek must come from within yourself, not from them.
By focusing on your own emotional recovery, learning the red flags, and healing from the toxic experience, you can find peace. Letting go of the idea that the narcissist will give you closure is one of the most empowering decisions you can make in your healing journey.