Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
A Toxic relationship and Fake love looks real—until it destroys you.
Welcome to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, the podcast that exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, and emotional manipulation. Hosted by Nova Gibson, leading trauma-informed counsellor and Director of Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling, this podcast is your guide to breaking free from the confusion, fear, and self-doubt that come with being entangled with a narcissist.
In every episode, Nova draws from years of experience working with survivors to explore the complex, often covert tactics used in emotionally abusive relationships—from gaslighting, triangulation, and the silent treatment to smear campaigns and intermittent reinforcement.
Whether you're struggling with a narcissistic partner, parent, boss, or friend, Fake Love and Flying Monkeys gives you the tools and knowledge to understand the abuse, trust your instincts, and reclaim your power—even if the narcissist has never been formally diagnosed.
This is more than a podcast—it’s a lifeline.
You’ll get:
Clear explanations of narcissistic behaviour patterns
Practical strategies for setting boundaries and detaching
Real talk about the emotional rollercoaster of trauma bonding
Validation, clarity, and a path toward healing from narcissistic abuse
If you've ever felt trapped in a relationship that chips away at your self-worth, this podcast will help you name it, face it, and finally break free.
You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. You’re in the fog of narcissistic abuse—and Nova is here to help guide you out.
Visit https://www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au/
for more support and resources.
It’s time to expose the fake love, silence the flying monkeys, and rewrite your story.
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
10 Secrets the Covert Narcissist Doesn’t Want You to Know
What if everything you thought you knew about narcissists was just the tip of the iceberg?
In this eye-opening episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I’m revealing 10 of the darkest, most tightly kept secrets narcissists don’t want you to uncover—because once you know, their power starts to crumble.
"A narcissist’s greatest fear is exposure. The moment you see through their mask, the game changes."
These are the secrets they use to:
Manipulate your perception of reality
Keep you hooked through cycles of idealisation and devaluation
Pretend to be the victim while destroying your reputation
And maintain control long after you’ve walked away
Whether you're dealing with a narcissistic partner, parent, co-worker, or friend, this episode will equip you with the insights you need to see their behaviour for what it really is.
"They don’t want you to heal. They want you to doubt yourself forever."
Expect to hear the truth behind:
Why they seem so confident (but are actually deeply insecure)
How they mirror you to win your trust
The real reason they never take responsibility
Why their charm is a calculated act
And how their ‘love’ is just another form of control
"The moment you stop playing their game, they panic."
It’s time to take your power back. The more you understand these dark narcissist secrets, the less influence they’ll have over your mind, emotions, and future.
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Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.
Nova xx
10 Secrets the Narcissist Hopes You’ll Never Discover
Narcissists don’t show up waving red flags. They arrive in the emotional shadows—places where guilt, confusion, and manipulation thrive. At first glance, they can appear charming, magnetic even, making you feel like you’ve found your soulmate. But beneath that mask lies a calculated predator who wants one thing: control.
Understanding the tactics and secrets narcissists hide from you is not just empowering—it’s essential for healing and protecting yourself. Once the mask slips, once you begin to recognise the patterns, the narcissist’s game starts to crumble.
Here are 10 powerful secrets narcissists desperately hope you’ll never find out.
1. They Knew Exactly What They Were Doing From Day One
Let’s stop sugarcoating it. That intense love bombing—the deep eye contact, over-the-top compliments, daily good morning messages, calling you their soulmate—none of it was spontaneous or from the heart. It was a strategy.
The narcissist was studying you from the start. They identified your strengths, insecurities, boundaries, and dreams. Then, like a chameleon, they morphed into your ideal partner. You weren’t falling in love with who they truly were; you were falling for a carefully constructed façade.
This cycle—love bombing, devaluation, and discard—isn’t random. It’s predictable and repeated. You weren’t their first target, and you likely won’t be their last. But understanding this is your first step in breaking the cycle.
2. They Need You More Than You Need Them
This one can be hard to believe when you’re in the middle of it, especially if you've been made to feel like you’re the needy one.
But here’s the truth: the narcissist is emotionally dependent on you. Your empathy, your validation, your admiration—that’s their fuel. Without your reactions and attention, they feel empty, unworthy, and powerless.
They manipulate you into believing you can’t live without them. In reality, they can’t function without your supply. But they hate this dependence. It triggers contempt and rage, which they take out on the very people they rely on most.
That’s why they often surround themselves with backup sources—flying monkeys, enablers, and future supply—so they’re never without that emotional hit. But the one they truly fear losing is the person who gives them the most: you.
3. They’re Deeply Insecure
Behind that arrogant, confident exterior lies a deeply insecure person with a shame-based personality. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is rooted in low self-worth and emotional fragility.
The narcissist's bravado? It’s a mask to hide the emptiness inside. The rage? It’s a defence against even the slightest criticism. They construct a false self that projects superiority and control—but it’s built on a house of cards.
Their emotional reactivity, quick temper, and hypersensitivity to perceived slights all stem from this inner void. Far from being strong and self-assured, they’re terrified of being exposed. And your strength, confidence, and independence? It threatens to blow their cover wide open.
4. They Know Exactly What Hurts You—And They Use It
They’re not oblivious to your pain. They see it. They hear you. They just don’t care. Worse still, they weaponise it.
In the early days of the relationship, you may have felt like you’d met someone who understood you better than anyone ever had. You opened up. You were vulnerable. You shared your wounds and insecurities.
And that’s exactly what they were counting on.
Later, when they feel threatened or need to regain control, they will go straight for your emotional jugular. They know what will hurt you the most—whether it’s bringing up childhood trauma, criticising your appearance, or attacking your core values—and they’ll do it surgically, not randomly.
That’s why the pain feels so cruel. Because it is.
5. They’re Jealous of You
Pathological envy is a hallmark trait of narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissists aren’t just jealous of others—they believe others are jealous of them too.
Ever wonder why a narcissist suddenly becomes cold or passive-aggressive when something good happens to you? You got a promotion, made a new friend, had a great hair day—and suddenly they’re sulking, picking fights, or giving you the silent treatment.
That’s not a coincidence. When you shine, it threatens their fragile ego. Your joy reminds them of everything they feel they’re lacking inside. They can’t bear it.
So instead of celebrating you, they sabotage you. They can’t allow you to outshine them, even for a moment.
6. They Feed Off Your Empathy
Narcissists are devoid of genuine empathy, but they know you’re full of it—and they use it against you.
You want to see the best in people. You forgive easily. You make excuses for bad behaviour and work harder when things go wrong. And they rely on that.
When they gaslight you, you second-guess yourself. When they’re in a bad mood, you wonder what you did wrong. When they withdraw affection, you chase their approval.
This is not love. It’s exploitation. And the longer it goes on, the more your tolerance for abuse grows—while your expectation for respect and reciprocity plummets.
Empathy is a gift. But with a narcissist, it becomes a trap.
7. They Don’t Miss You—They Miss Controlling You
This one is tough to hear, especially if you’re still grieving the relationship or wondering why they moved on so fast.
When a narcissist gives you the silent treatment or discards you, they don’t pine for you. They don’t lie awake missing your laugh or your touch. What they miss is the power they had over you.
If they seem to be thriving without you, posting loved-up photos with their new “soulmate,” or acting like you never existed, it’s not because they’ve suddenly become emotionally healthy. It’s propaganda. A performance designed to hurt you, control the narrative, and secure new supply.
They don’t want closure. They want control. And if they can’t have it, they’ll fake happiness to convince you—and the world—that you never mattered.
8. They Groom You to Accept Abuse
From the beginning, the narcissist conditions you to accept less and less respect over time. What starts as small red flags—sarcastic jokes, mood swings, dismissiveness—escalates slowly, so you don’t notice how bad things have become.
They alternate between kindness and cruelty, pulling you back in just when you start to pull away. This creates a trauma bond, where your nervous system becomes addicted to the highs and lows of the relationship.
Soon, you’re tolerating behaviour you never thought you would—walking on eggshells, justifying mistreatment, and abandoning your own needs to keep the peace.
It’s not because you’re weak. It’s because you were conditioned to survive in an emotionally unsafe environment.
9. They Fear Exposure More Than Anything
The one thing narcissists fear most? Being seen for who they really are.
The whole narcissistic persona is built to hide—to hide their insecurity, their shame, and their emotional emptiness. That’s why they’re so defensive, why they attack anyone who criticises them, and why they turn on those closest to them.
Once you begin to see the patterns—once you recognise that the love bombing, gaslighting, and triangulation are all part of a script—they lose control. And nothing terrifies them more.
This is also why they engage in smear campaigns after a breakup. If they can’t control your perception of them, they’ll try to control everyone else’s.
10. They Will Never Change
They may cry, beg, promise to get help, or even go to therapy for a short time. But the hard truth is this: narcissists do not fundamentally change. They lack the self-awareness and accountability needed for real growth.
Any change you see is likely short-lived and manipulative—just another attempt to draw you back in.
You cannot love them into healing. You cannot explain their behaviour into reason. And you cannot wait for them to suddenly become the person they pretended to be at the start.
What you can do is heal yourself, reclaim your power, and build a life free from manipulation and control.
Final Thoughts: Knowledge is Freedom
The narcissist counts on your silence, your self-doubt, and your endless empathy. But once you know their secrets, their power over you begins to fade.
These truths are painful—but they’re also liberating. They validate your experiences and help you recognise that none of this was your fault. You weren’t “too sensitive,” “too needy,” or “not good enough.” You were targeted for your strengths, not your flaws.
If you're navigating life after narcissistic abuse, know that you're not alone. With the right support, education, and boundaries, healing is possible.