Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
A Toxic relationship and Fake love looks real—until it destroys you.
Welcome to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, the podcast that exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, and emotional manipulation. Hosted by Nova Gibson, leading trauma-informed counsellor and Director of Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling, this podcast is your guide to breaking free from the confusion, fear, and self-doubt that come with being entangled with a narcissist.
In every episode, Nova draws from years of experience working with survivors to explore the complex, often covert tactics used in emotionally abusive relationships—from gaslighting, triangulation, and the silent treatment to smear campaigns and intermittent reinforcement.
Whether you're struggling with a narcissistic partner, parent, boss, or friend, Fake Love and Flying Monkeys gives you the tools and knowledge to understand the abuse, trust your instincts, and reclaim your power—even if the narcissist has never been formally diagnosed.
This is more than a podcast—it’s a lifeline.
You’ll get:
Clear explanations of narcissistic behaviour patterns
Practical strategies for setting boundaries and detaching
Real talk about the emotional rollercoaster of trauma bonding
Validation, clarity, and a path toward healing from narcissistic abuse
If you've ever felt trapped in a relationship that chips away at your self-worth, this podcast will help you name it, face it, and finally break free.
You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. You’re in the fog of narcissistic abuse—and Nova is here to help guide you out.
Visit https://www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au/
for more support and resources.
It’s time to expose the fake love, silence the flying monkeys, and rewrite your story.
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
10 Signs You're Dating a Narcissist (And What They Really Mean)
Dating a narcissist can feel like a rollercoaster of confusion, self-doubt, and emotional highs and lows. In this powerful episode, we unpack the 10 most common signs you're dating a narcissist—signs that are often disguised as love, charm, or even care. From love bombing and gaslighting to emotional withdrawal and future faking, these patterns are subtle at first but deeply damaging over time.
This episode explores how narcissists use manipulation, charm, and psychological tactics to gain control and erode their partner’s sense of reality. We take a closer look at the emotional abuse cycles that often go unnoticed in narcissistic relationships, helping listeners recognise the red flags before they escalate. If you've ever felt like you're walking on eggshells, constantly questioning your worth, or doubting your own perception of reality in a relationship, this episode will bring much-needed clarity.
Listeners will learn how to identify covert manipulation tactics, why narcissists behave the way they do in romantic relationships, and how emotional dependency is created through trauma bonding. This deep dive reveals not only the surface-level behaviours but the psychological reasons behind them—so you can spot the difference between genuine affection and narcissistic control.
This episode is especially relevant for those dealing with a narcissistic partner, wondering if their relationship is toxic, or healing from emotional abuse. It’s a must-hear for anyone questioning whether they’ve been love-bombed, devalued, or discarded by someone who never truly loved them, only controlled them.
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Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.
Nova xx
10 Signs You're Dating a Narcissist (and Why It Feels So Confusing)
So, you’ve met someone new. They seem… perfect. Charming, confident, maybe a little mysterious. It feels like a fairytale at first. They’re texting non-stop, telling you you’re the most amazing person they’ve ever met. You feel like you’re on Cloud Nine.
But then... things start to feel off. One minute they’re all over you, the next they’re distant or passive-aggressive. You find yourself constantly wondering: Is it me? Am I being too sensitive? Did I do something wrong?
If you’re feeling confused this early on, walking on eggshells, or second-guessing everything about yourself and the relationship—then it might be time to take a step back and ask the big question: Am I dating a narcissist?
Now, look—there’s no blood test or scan that says “Yep, narcissist alert!” But you can spot the patterns of behaviour if you’re paying attention. And here’s the thing: even if they’re not technically a narcissist, if the relationship is toxic and you don’t feel emotionally safe, that alone is a good enough reason to leave.
So let’s break it down—10 classic signs you’re dating a narcissist, in real, everyday language. No psychology degree required.
1. They Came on Way Too Strong (a.k.a. Love Bombing Central)
You know that whole whirlwind romance thing where they’re all over you 24/7, texting non-stop, planning trips, talking about marriage, saying "I love you" after one week? Yeah. That’s not passion—it’s love bombing.
Take Jill, for example. She met Jack and within a week he was telling her she was the best thing that ever happened to him. By week three, he was planning their future kids and talking about rings. Sound romantic? It was… until it wasn’t. Eventually, the texts slowed, the compliments disappeared, and Jack turned cold.
Love bombing isn’t about connection—it’s about control. Narcissists use this tactic to hook you in fast before you see the real them.
2. The World Revolves Around Them (And Only Them)
Try talking to them about your day. Mention a win at work or something you’re proud of. Notice how quickly they spin it back to themselves?
Like Ann, who told her boyfriend Jake that she’d gotten a promotion. His response? “That reminds me of when I crushed that big deal last year.” No “Congrats.” No “I’m proud of you.” Just back to his moment in the spotlight.
With narcissists, your life is background noise. The main show? Always them.
3. They Lack Empathy (And It Shows)
Let’s be real—empathy is the glue that holds healthy relationships together. And narcissists just don’t have it. Or they fake it… when it suits them.
Maybe your dog passed away and your partner shrugged and said, “It’s just a pet. We’ll get another one.” Ouch. That cold, dismissive response? That’s not normal. That’s someone who can’t connect to your feelings—and honestly doesn’t care to.
4. They Twist Everything You Say (Gaslighting 101)
You bring up something they said that hurt you, and suddenly you’re the problem. You’re too sensitive. You’re imagining things. They never said that.
Sarah told her partner Ben he was lucky she “puts up with his moods.” Later, when Ben tried to talk about it, she denied ever saying it. “You’re imagining things,” she told him. He started recording their conversations just to prove to himself he wasn’t going crazy.
If you find yourself doing that—recording them, doubting your memory, walking around in a fog—that’s gaslighting. It’s emotional abuse, and it’s designed to keep you under their control.
5. They’re Hot and Cold (Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde Vibes)
One day they’re cuddling you on the couch, telling you how lucky they are. The next? They vanish. Or they’re snappy, distant, and mean for no reason. You never know which version of them is going to show up.
Jodi’s boyfriend was like this. One week, loving and attentive. Then… gone. No explanation. And when he did come back, he acted like nothing happened.
This emotional whiplash is not an accident. Narcissists do it to keep you chasing that “good” version of them, even if it only shows up 10% of the time. It’s addictive—and it keeps you stuck.
6. They Never Take Responsibility
They mess up, but somehow it’s your fault. Every. Time.
Josh cheated on his girlfriend and said, “Well, you’ve been so distant lately. What did you expect?” No apology. Just excuses. Justification. Blame.
Narcissists cannot handle being wrong. Their emotional development is stuck somewhere around toddler level. It’s “Me me me me me,” and if they don’t get their way? Tantrum time.
7. Every Ex Is “Crazy”
Listen carefully when they talk about their exes. Are all of them “toxic,” “obsessed,” or “clingy”? That’s a major red flag.
Sam told his new girlfriend that all three of his exes were “psychotic.” Later, she found out he’d cheated on every one of them and ghosted them all in the exact same way.
Spoiler alert: if everyone else is the problem… they’re probably not telling the full story.
8. They’re Jealous or Controlling (And Call It “Caring”)
At first, it might feel kind of flattering—they’re just “protective,” right? But soon, it turns into accusations, paranoia, and control.
Tammy’s boyfriend told her to delete Instagram because “too many guys liked her photos.” Then he started controlling which friends she could see, what she could wear, and where she could go.
That’s not love. That’s coercive control. And it often starts with “I just care about you.” But love doesn’t make you feel suffocated. Love doesn’t stalk your phone.
9. They Make You Feel Small (On Purpose)
They complimented your passion for art when you first met. Now they roll their eyes every time you pick up a paintbrush. They mock your goals. They criticize how you look. It’s subtle at first—but over time, it chips away at your confidence.
Tim told his girlfriend he wanted to start a business. Her reply? “You couldn’t handle that kind of pressure.” He used to be confident. Now he second-guesses everything.
Narcissists destroy the very things they once admired about you. And they’ll tell you you’re too sensitive if you call them out. But remember—a joke that hurts is still an insult.
10. You Feel Drained, Anxious, and Confused All the Time
You used to feel happy. Now you’re anxious, tired, and constantly doubting yourself. You’re tiptoeing around their moods, wondering where the “good version” of them went.
Emily started journaling just to get her thoughts straight. When she looked back, all she saw were pages filled with confusion and self-doubt. That’s when it clicked: It wasn’t her. It was him.
If you feel worse about yourself in the relationship than you did before it started—that’s a red flag. Healthy love lifts you up. Narcissistic love tears you down.
So What Now?
If you found yourself nodding along to more than a few of these signs, take a breath. You’re not crazy. You’re not imagining things. Narcissistic relationships are confusing on purpose. They’re designed to keep you unsure, anxious, and stuck.
But here’s the truth: real love is consistent. It’s kind. It makes you feel safe.
And if your gut is screaming that something’s off—listen. You don’t need a diagnosis to leave. You just need to know that you deserve better.
Final Thought:
“Love doesn’t make you question your worth. It reminds you of it.”
If you’ve been questioning everything lately, maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s time to stop walking on eggshells—and start walking away.