Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
A Toxic relationship and Fake love looks real—until it destroys you.
Welcome to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, the podcast that exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, and emotional manipulation. Hosted by Nova Gibson, leading trauma-informed counsellor and Director of Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling, this podcast is your guide to breaking free from the confusion, fear, and self-doubt that come with being entangled with a narcissist.
In every episode, Nova draws from years of experience working with survivors to explore the complex, often covert tactics used in emotionally abusive relationships—from gaslighting, triangulation, and the silent treatment to smear campaigns and intermittent reinforcement.
Whether you're struggling with a narcissistic partner, parent, boss, or friend, Fake Love and Flying Monkeys gives you the tools and knowledge to understand the abuse, trust your instincts, and reclaim your power—even if the narcissist has never been formally diagnosed.
This is more than a podcast—it’s a lifeline.
You’ll get:
Clear explanations of narcissistic behaviour patterns
Practical strategies for setting boundaries and detaching
Real talk about the emotional rollercoaster of trauma bonding
Validation, clarity, and a path toward healing from narcissistic abuse
If you've ever felt trapped in a relationship that chips away at your self-worth, this podcast will help you name it, face it, and finally break free.
You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. You’re in the fog of narcissistic abuse—and Nova is here to help guide you out.
Visit https://www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au/
for more support and resources.
It’s time to expose the fake love, silence the flying monkeys, and rewrite your story.
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
When the Narcissist Knows You Know: And Panics!
What really happens when the narcissist loses control of you, and realises their grip on you is gone?
(For 1 on 1 online counselling in your own toxic relationship/narcissistic abuse recovery please visit my website at
https://brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au/online-counselling-services/ )
In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I break down the moment every survivor of narcissistic abuse eventually faces—the moment the narcissist knows you’ve figured them out… and they start to unravel.
This is when the power shift begins. You stop reacting. You stop defending. You see through the gaslighting, manipulation, and charm.
Order my best-selling book, Fake Love, here 🫴 https://mybook.to/F3gm
✅️ Expect a deep dive into:
How narcissists behave when they feel exposed
What happens when they lose emotional control over you
Why smear campaigns ramp up post-escape
The mind games they play to claw back power
How silence, boundaries, and no-contact drive them wild
What your healing journey really triggers in a narcissist
Whether you’ve just woken up to the narcissist’s true nature or you're deep into your healing journey, this episode will validate everything you’re feeling. If they’re panicking, it’s because your peace, clarity, and confidence are growing stronger.
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Thank you for listening!
Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.
Nova xx
When the Narcissist Knows That You Know: What Happens Next?
So, let’s talk about that moment. You know the one—when the veil lifts and suddenly everything clicks. It’s like a lightbulb goes off. You stop blaming yourself, stop justifying their behavior, and you finally see them for what they are. A narcissist.
Maybe someone just casually dropped the word into a conversation. Or maybe you were up late, Googling their bizarre behavior, and the word narcissist kept popping up over and over again. And then you started ticking off the traits like it’s a horrifying game of narcissistic bingo.
And yeah… they check every. single. box.
There’s a huge shift that happens in that moment. For the first time, you stop feeling crazy. You stop wondering if you’re imagining things. You realize—no, they weren’t “just moody.” It wasn’t because they were “insecure.” It wasn’t “complicated.” It was calculated.
You’ve been dealing with a mask-wearing, manipulative narcissist. And what’s worse? They’ve been feeding off your confusion and pain like it’s their own personal buffet.
Now here’s the kicker: What happens when they realize you know?
Because trust me, they always know.
They Sense It Before You Even Say a Word
You don’t even have to confront them yet. They know the game is shifting just by how you start acting differently.
Maybe your tone isn’t quite as apologetic. Maybe your eyes don’t hold the same desperation. Maybe you start pausing—just for a second—before you react. These tiny little changes? They feel like earthquakes to a narcissist.
Because narcissists rely on control. Not the healthy kind where people talk things out and respect each other’s space. No, no. They thrive off the kind that keeps you emotionally choked out, unsure of yourself, constantly second-guessing.
So the moment you start detaching—even a little—they feel it. Like a shark smelling blood in the water.
Cue the Panic Mode
This is when they start squirming.
Suddenly, here comes the love bombing again. Out of nowhere. Maybe they send you gifts, start making big promises, or even bring out the fake tears with, “I’ve changed,” speeches. You might even get breadcrumbed with random days where they don’t abuse you at all, and it feels like gold compared to the emotional rock bottom they’ve kept you at.
Why? Because they’re trying to reel you back in before it’s too late.
The truth is, narcissists are actors. Their whole identity is a performance, and guess what? You’re the audience. But when you stop clapping—when you stop playing your role—they freak out. That applause? Your validation? Your compliance? That’s what kept their show going.
When that stops? The mask starts slipping.
The Real Them Starts to Show
Their stories stop adding up. Their charm fades. Their temper flares more quickly. You see through their crocodile tears. You stop falling for their “vulnerability” routine and begin calling them out for what they’re actually doing: manipulating, projecting, controlling.
And that, my friend, makes you a threat.
You’re not just the ex. Or the scapegoated child. Or the friend they could always count on to say, “It’s okay.” You are now the enemy of the story they’ve built around themselves.
The Smear Campaign Begins
Once they know you’ve seen behind the mask, the next thing they do is damage control. Not real accountability. Oh no. They need to protect their image.
So what happens? You suddenly become the “unstable one.” The “crazy ex.” The “abuser.” The one who “just couldn’t make it work.”
They flip the narrative to anyone who will listen. And while you’re staying quiet, trying to heal, they’re out there playing the victim. Because for a narcissist, their image is everything. Losing control of you is bad enough. But losing control of how people see them? That’s unbearable.
Your Calm Drives Them Nuts
And here’s the beautiful irony—they want you to react. They need you to react.
But the more composed and calm you stay, the more unhinged they become. So don’t give them what they want. Give them silence instead. Not as a punishment—but as a boundary. Your peace is your power.
No more justifying. No more explaining. No more defending yourself against their wild accusations or mirror-like projections.
Just silence. Gray rock. No contact.
And let me tell you: nothing messes with a narcissist more than your peace.
But Don’t Think It’s Over Just Yet…
Now, just because they know you know—don’t think they’re done with you.
Narcissists hate losing control. So they will try, try, and try again to get that foot back in the door. Maybe it’ll come with a random message. Maybe it’s through mutual friends (aka flying monkeys). Maybe they stalk your socials. Any little sign that you're still paying attention? That’s their way in.
And when they think your guard is down? Boom—here comes the grand gesture.
You might hear things like:
- “I’ve done a lot of thinking. No one compares to you.”
- “I was scared. That’s why I pushed you away.”
- Or the classic: “Let’s go to therapy. I’ll do anything.”
But guys, please—this isn’t genuine remorse. This is a reset attempt. It’s like when someone restarts a video game because they didn’t like how it was going. They just want to reload with full control and destroy their opponent—you.
You Become “The One That Got Away”
If you manage to go no contact for good? You’ll be the one that got away. And narcissists hate that.
They like to keep past targets around. Just in case. They hoard exes like trophies. So when you truly walk away? When you’re done? You’re not just a loss. You’re a threat to the illusion they’ve built.
They’ll stalk, triangulate, send messages through others—anything to test your boundaries. But hopefully, you won’t even notice… because you’ve already blocked every path back in.
And here’s something else—they will absolutely jump into a new relationship quickly. Why? Because they need supply. Always. Constantly. But make no mistake—this isn’t healing. This isn’t love. This is damage control.
Their sudden happiness with someone else? It’s all part of the narrative. “See? I wasn’t the problem. You were!” But in reality, it’s just another mask, another performance, another cycle that someone else has just entered.
Final Thoughts: You Hold the Cards Now
When the narcissist knows that you know… it changes everything.
They panic. They scramble. They try every trick in the book to regain control. But it’s not rejection they truly fear—it’s exposure. You’ve seen behind the curtain. You’ve realized the mask was never real. And now you hold the truth.
And that? That terrifies them.
But here’s the powerful part—you didn’t just survive. You woke up. You turned pain into power. Confusion into clarity. Trauma into transformation.
And once you reach that point? They can never touch you the same way again.
Stay strong. Stay grounded. And remember—when the narcissist knows that you know… you hold all the cards.