Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
A Toxic relationship and Fake love looks real—until it destroys you.
Welcome to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, the podcast that exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships, narcissistic abuse, and emotional manipulation. Hosted by Nova Gibson, leading trauma-informed counsellor and Director of Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling, this podcast is your guide to breaking free from the confusion, fear, and self-doubt that come with being entangled with a narcissist.
In every episode, Nova draws from years of experience working with survivors to explore the complex, often covert tactics used in emotionally abusive relationships—from gaslighting, triangulation, and the silent treatment to smear campaigns and intermittent reinforcement.
Whether you're struggling with a narcissistic partner, parent, boss, or friend, Fake Love and Flying Monkeys gives you the tools and knowledge to understand the abuse, trust your instincts, and reclaim your power—even if the narcissist has never been formally diagnosed.
This is more than a podcast—it’s a lifeline.
You’ll get:
Clear explanations of narcissistic behaviour patterns
Practical strategies for setting boundaries and detaching
Real talk about the emotional rollercoaster of trauma bonding
Validation, clarity, and a path toward healing from narcissistic abuse
If you've ever felt trapped in a relationship that chips away at your self-worth, this podcast will help you name it, face it, and finally break free.
You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy. You’re in the fog of narcissistic abuse—and Nova is here to help guide you out.
Visit https://www.brighteroutlooknarcissisticabusecounselling.com.au/
for more support and resources.
It’s time to expose the fake love, silence the flying monkeys, and rewrite your story.
Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
6 Things Narcissists Tell Others About You Behind Your Back
Struggling with narcissistic abuse? Learn the 6 damaging lies narcissists tell others behind your back to manipulate, isolate, and control the narrative.
(For 1 on 1 online counselling in your own toxic relationship/narcissistic abuse recovery please visit my website at
https://brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au/online-counselling-services/ )
In this episode, I reveal six things narcissists commonly say about you behind your back to protect their image and control the story. These lies are designed to isolate you and turn others against you, making it harder to be heard and believed.
You’ll learn why narcissists spread these damaging narratives and how they impact your relationships with friends, family, and colleagues. With relatable examples and clear explanations, this episode offers validation and insight for anyone dealing with narcissistic abuse such as:
✅ Them calling you “crazy” to make others question your sanity
Discover how to stand firm in your truth even when the narcissist is working hard to rewrite the story.
Need Support, Extra Resources? Resources and Online Counseling (worldwide) information Here
Order my book Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse here
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Please remember the information in this episode is not intended to substitute for therapy is general and strictly the opinions of the host.
Nova xx
6 Classic Lies Narcissists Tell About You (And How to Handle Their Smear Campaigns)
Alright, so today we’re diving into one of the narcissist’s favorite hobbies — and no, it’s not just mirror gazing or obsessively checking how many likes their latest selfie got (though, yep, they definitely do that too). I’m talking about the narcissist smear campaign — the stuff they say about you behind your back to keep their image shiny and themselves looking like the victim.
Here’s the truth: narcissists are total pros at managing their image like they’re running for public office. Except their campaign slogan is always, “Vote for me. I’m the victim.”
To keep that perfect little image sparkling, they need a villain in their story. Spoiler alert: that villain is almost always you.
So let’s break down six of the most common narcissist lies and smears they spread about you — so you can spot them a mile away. Plus, I’ll share examples so you can see exactly how this emotional manipulation plays out.
1. “They’re Crazy” — The Old Reliable Smear
Ah yes, the all-time favorite go-to line: “They’re crazy.” This one’s like the narcissist’s signature dish — perfected over a lifetime of narcissistic abuse.
Whenever you start seeing through their lies or call out their bad behavior, suddenly you’re the unstable, overly emotional one.
Picture this: you calmly ask why they disappeared all weekend with zero explanation. In their version, you’re having a full-blown screaming meltdown. You’re controlling. You’re irrational.
They tell anyone who’ll listen, “I’m really worried about them lately. They’ve been so irrational, I think they need help.”
The genius of this lie is it plants doubt in others’ minds. So the next time you have a natural emotional reaction (and honestly, who wouldn’t after constant gaslighting?), they can shrug and say, “See? I told you they’re unstable.”
It’s emotional identity theft — a classic narcissist smear campaign tactic.
2. “They’re Obsessed With Me” — The Ego Booster Lie
This one is pure narcissistic ego fuel. Nothing feeds their fragile ego like pretending you can’t let go of them.
Maybe you’ve moved on — binge-watching Netflix, dating someone new, or just finally sleeping eight hours straight. Meanwhile, they’re telling everyone, “They still text me. They check my Facebook all the time. I think they’re still in love with me.”
Here’s the kicker: it’s usually them stalking your social media, maybe accidentally liking some ancient photo at 2 a.m., then calling you clingy for “not moving on.”
Why? Because it keeps the spotlight on them — the irresistible heartthrob — while you’re painted as the desperate ex.
3. “They’re the Abusive One” — Flipping the Script
This smear is especially painful. The narcissist — who’s been controlling, gaslighting, and emotionally abusing you — flips the script to claim you’re the abuser.
They say things like, “I was walking on eggshells the whole time. They’d explode over nothing.”
What you probably did was react to their constant emotional manipulation — what we call reactive abuse. But they leave out the provocation, presenting your reaction as proof you’re abusive.
This lie can wreck friendships, family ties, and even legal battles. Some victims end up with restraining orders against them because the narcissist convinces police and others that their reactions are evidence of abuse.
4. “They’re a Bad Parent” — The Sharpest Weapon
If you share kids with a narcissist, this one’s a brutal classic. Even if you do 90% of the parenting — going to every school event, remembering every detail — they’ll tell people you’re neglectful or incompetent.
They say, “I’m worried about the kids. They’re not getting the attention they need,” while you’re the one packing lunches and keeping their homework in check.
This smear serves two purposes: it hurts you and makes them look like the hero parent who’s “saving” the kids from your supposed failures.
They know you’ll defend your kids fiercely, so they keep attacking what you love most — your children.
5. “They’re the Cheater” — The Ultimate Projection
Here’s the irony: the narcissist is often the one cheating, but to cover it up, they tell everyone you are the cheater.
Why? Two reasons:
- It deflects suspicion away from them.
- It justifies their cheating as “payback” — like, “Well, they did it first.”
They twist innocent things — like chatting with a coworker or having lunch with a friend — into evidence. Then they spread rumors with the classic “I hate to say this, but…” line.
Heads up: if you hear a narcissist start a sentence like that, they don’t hate it. They’re loving every moment of spreading lies.
By the time the truth comes out (if it does), they’ve poisoned everyone’s minds, making support super hard to find.
6. “They’re Financially Irresponsible” — The Money Smear
Ah yes, the money smear. They tell people you’re a reckless spender who racks up debt and maxes out credit cards.
Meanwhile, they’re secretly buying gadgets, booking luxury trips, or sneaking in credit cards without telling you.
For example: you spend $50 on groceries, but they blow $2,000 on a “business trip” that involves no real business — and somehow you’re the one who can’t budget.
This tactic often pops up during divorces. If they convince the court you’re irresponsible with money, they get more control over finances.
Why Narcissists Run These Smear Campaigns
All these lies have one goal: protect their perfect image and control the narrative. Narcissists can’t stand anyone seeing who they really are — the manipulative, controlling person behind the mask.
So they create a version of reality where they are the victim, the hero, or both — and you’re always the villain.
For them, it’s just another day. For you, it’s like playing whack-a-mole with their lies. You knock one down, three more pop up.
How to Handle a Narcissist Smear Campaign
Here’s the brutal truth: you can’t stop a narcissist from lying about you. You could have a PhD in defending yourself, a PowerPoint, and a folder stuffed with receipts — they’ll still twist the story.
The best thing? Stay calm. Your consistent behavior over time — not reacting or engaging — will speak louder than their smear campaigns.
Don’t take the bait. Emotional reactions give them “evidence” to spin into new lies.
Document everything — texts, emails, social media. You don’t have to use it unless necessary, but it’s smart to have a record.
Remember: people who really know you will see through the nonsense eventually. The truth has a funny way of sticking around, even when a narcissist tries to bury it under drama.
When You Hear Their Lies from Others
If a friend or coworker tells you, “I hate to say this, but I heard…” from the narcissist, please remember: it’s not about you.
It’s just another narcissist performance starring themselves as the victim.
Don’t try to fight every lie — you’ll burn out. Cut off the “flying monkeys” — those people who keep bringing you gossip. They’re not helping you heal.
Remind yourself: the version of you they’re describing is a fictional character created to make the narcissist look better.
In the Thick of It? You’re Not Alone
I see you. It’s brutal. You may feel like you’re losing friends, your credibility, even parts of your identity.
But hold on tight.
The truth will surface.
And when it does, the people worth keeping in your life will still be there.
They can tell whatever stories they want, but you know your truth — and that’s what matters.
No one can take that away from you.
If you’re dealing with narcissistic abuse and the nightmare of smear campaigns and emotional manipulation, remember: healing is possible.
Stay grounded. Stay calm. Stay connected to your truth.
Feeling overwhelmed by narcissist smear campaigns or emotional manipulation? You’re not alone — and you don’t have to face this on your own.
If you want support, practical advice, or just someone to listen, head over to Brighter Outlook Counselling and see how we can help you start reclaiming your peace and your life today.
Remember, healing is possible — and it starts with knowing the truth and standing in your power.